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BLOOD VENGEANCE
Director: Ron Howard
Plot: Retired General Ron Johnson is accused of a crime he didn't commit. After a dramatic court trial, he is falsely proclaimed guilty and escapes after killing the judge, jury and everyone else with his bare hands (they turn out later to all be convicted rapists) he goes to the jungle and falls in love with a scientist but the scientist is no ordinary scientist. It's an alien-scientist with fresh new ideas for how to rejuvenate Hollywood. Unfortunately, Colonel Frank Ironhammer , former foe who is awkwardly revealed through a rapid flashback sequence, misses his intended target and hits the alien-scientist just as it's divulging the plot to the best movie ever. The intended target, we find out later, was NOT General Ron Johnson and WE WERE LED TO EXPECT, no....the intended target was a monkey carrying a unique strain of the AIDS virus called the cancer, obesity, idiocy, tetanus, Ululating-SIDS-AIDS virus, or coitus-AIDS virus strain which actually cured its own acronym and subsequent suffix, it could have been turned into a frosty brew but General Ron Johnson worked for AN EVIL PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY and it was not in their best interest to have this potential cure realized so they sent him in. Right as we see the monkey get killed EARTH EXPLODES, the aliens that spawned the scientist realize we're beyond hope and evaporate us using ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY.
before the credits roll, the audience is presented with a black screen. white text slowly scrolls up with deep, moving music playing in the background:
funny how we humans don't realize things until it's too late
*slowly fades out*
*slow fade in:*
we, the cursed went out with the cure - coitus which takes its name from the Latin coire: 'go together'
*the audience gasps and their IQs skyrocket*
*slowly fades out*
*slow fade in:*
In Memory of Herb Jackson
absolutely no one has any clue who the fuck that is.
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fuck.. fucking..******...motherfuck...mother******
