"Welcome to Quebec, where we love everything liberal except your party"

"Bonjour liberals! Welcome to "Quebecois nation" - home of us Quebecois, Quebecoises and other Quebec people.
In case you're wondering about the slippery semantic relationship between a "Quebecois" and a "Quebecer," the formula is simple:
"One Quebecois = 9/5 of a Quebecer, minus 32, multiplied by the hypotenuse squared."
And it's best not to ask any more questions - somehow it all works out fine.

As you visiting Liberal delegates tour our fine city, it won't take you long to
realize Quebec is more distinct than you knew. Just try deciphering all the unilingual construction signs on every second street that say stuff like:
"DANGER! Chemin en construction. Route alternative facultative par le Chemin d'Iberville via itineraire facultatif 66b et route 35a - sujet aux changements imprevus."

Quebec is a mainly French-speaking city - unless you're spending your time at the Liberal convention like I did yesterday, where practically everyone is speaking English. That's not a great idea for a party that's here to woo the lost Quebec - er, make that, Quebecois - voter.
The good news for you Liberals is that this is still Canada's most liberal province, where your party's central values are shared by almost every citizen.

You can drop in at many downtown swingers' clubs that your liberal courts have created. You can visit the Gay Village, only blocks from the convention centre, and get legally, liberally and gaily married. You can walk to nearby Berri Square and buy dope so openly you'd think the Liberal Party actually did legalize the stuff.

Quebec's justice system is another testament to our liberal values. This is a forgiving and forgetting place where you might just bump into Karla Homolka at the depanneur. Rumours are that recently paroled wife killer Colin Thatcher is studying intensive French so he can move here, too.
Quebecers are liberal to their core: a daycare-loving, gun-hating haven of pacifists, unionists and environmentalists who practically worship high taxes. The only liberal idea there is no enthusiasm at all for in Quebec is Liberals themselves, who are practically an extinct species here.

That's exactly why your party decided to hold the Liberal convention in Montreal - to repent of your Sponsorgate sins and resurrect yourselves in Quebec. You came to beg forgiveness from disillusioned Quebecers - though I'm not sure you've dressed appropriately, in all those bright red scarves and other Liberal paraphernalia.
I'd have gone with something less flashy, like sackcloth and ashes, while crawling on your knees up the steps of St. Joseph's Oratory.

The big question is: Can any of your four major leadership candidates get Quebecers and Quebecois to forget the Liberal past and vote Liberal again? And if so, who?

Can Iggy the Egghead's fresh bilingual voice win over Quebec if he is chosen leader? Michael Ignatieff has lost popularity in English Canada for raising the two-nation debate - but it's sure helped him here. Every last Quebec MP and MNA has now voted in favour of motions declaring that the "Quebecois" form a nation.

If Iggy wins your convention, the Quebec nation might just become Quiggy nation.

Alternatively, can Bob Rae conquer Quebec? In his home province Rae is remembered as a crazed, socialist NDP maniac who destroyed Ontario's economy. But here in Quebec, that's a big plus - because it means he wasn't a Liberal.

To many Quebecers, Rae is a bright, bilingual ultra-liberal guy who fits right into the Quebec landscape - he even plays a mean piano and enjoys taking off his clothes. He's not an enthusiastic "nation"-ist like Iggy - Rae spent too many years in Canada's constitutional trenches, ducking explosive amending formulas and Meech grenades.

His philosophy is more: "A nation if necessary, though not necessarily a nation" - and that's the kind of ambivalence Quebecers usually appreciate.
Other Liberal front-runners seem unlikely to win back the Quebec vote. Stephane Dion is the comeback kid of the campaign, a born-again environmentalist who has completely re-invented himself. But here in Quebec, he's too associated with the old Chretien days to re-invent the Liberals.

As for Gerard Kennedy, he was totally unknown in Quebec until recently - to be honest, I hadn't given his name any thought at all since the Chappaquiddick tragedy. But now, he's finally hit our local news with his strong "Quebec is not a nation!" stance.

And that spells the end of him in Quebecnation.

Ultimately, it will take time and energy for anyone to create the excitement needed to turn liberal Quebec Liberal again. But I believe that if you Liberal delegates choose the right leader, you definitely have a great chance to make Quebec a Liberal stronghold again in the election - after the next election." (Courtesy of The Gazette)