Some of you might of heard these.

- Do you want to play Rugby on saturday?...... Well apparently Ipswich are short of hookers!

- Job Vacancy - Prostitutes required, Ipswich area, good rates of pay but the shifts are murder!

Q - Whats the difference between Ipswich murderer & mr kipling?
A - Mr kipling puts 6 tarts in a box ...

- I got slapped by a shop assistant today. I cant understand why. I was in a bakery in Ipswich and I said to the girl "Ohhh, I could murder a tart"

- Theres a dyslexic santa in Ipswich.... Keeps leaving prossies under trees

- I hear the football's cancelled at Ipswich on Saturday. Apparently a dyslexic copy-cat has strangled the substitutes.

- Got the wife a red rubber mini skirt and a bus ticket to Ipswich for Christmas. It was nice knowing her......

- The 5 girls from ipswich have all been suffercated with corn flakes.
The police insist it is a cereal killer

- The prostitutes have given up there rounds for a while as the shifts were murder

- Father Xmas has been eliminated from Police Enquiries after the discovery of "Ho's" 4 & 5

- Ipswich prostitutes have a high sex drive

they are all dieing for a sh*g

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if you're lost...

Also

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quote:

Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan Some of you might of heard these. - Do you want to play Rugby on saturday?...... Well apparently Ipswich are short of hookers! - Job Vacancy - Prostitutes required, Ipswich area, good rates of pay but the shifts are murder! Q - Whats the difference between Ipswich murderer & mr kipling? A - Mr kipling puts 6 tarts in a box ... - I got slapped by a shop assistant today. I cant understand why. I was in a bakery in Ipswich and I said to the girl "Ohhh, I could murder a tart" - Theres a dyslexic santa in Ipswich.... Keeps leaving prossies under trees - I hear the football's cancelled at Ipswich on Saturday. Apparently a dyslexic copy-cat has strangled the substitutes. - Got the wife a red rubber mini skirt and a bus ticket to Ipswich for Christmas. It was nice knowing her...... - The 5 girls from ipswich have all been suffercated with corn flakes. The police insist it is a cereal killer - The prostitutes have given up there rounds for a while as the shifts were murder - Father Xmas has been eliminated from Police Enquiries after the discovery of "Ho's" 4 & 5 - Ipswich prostitutes have a high sex drive they are all dieing for a sh*g

This is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin...

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quote:

Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike Social outcasts are often of the opinion that they must have a drink before being able to loosen up with their inhibitions, thus being able to have a good time. There's a word that sums up this sort of behaviour, and that word is 'reject.'

quote:

Originally posted by _Ocean_Drive_ This is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to begin...

I'd begin by the suffercating cereal killing: never a mispelling managed to convey the correct meaning so well

quote:

Originally posted by Lira I'd begin by the suffercating cereal killing: never a mispelling managed to convey the correct meaning so well

Copied and pasted from an e-mail I received mate

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quote:

Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan Copied and pasted from an e-mail I received mate

I thought so I reckon it's highly unlikely that an Irishman would mispell that word (because of the way you guys speak)... but I just found that amusing

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Originally posted by Lira I thought so I reckon it's highly unlikely that an Irishman would mispell that word (because of the way you guys speak)... but I just found that amusing

You'd be suprised because I have an English 'Northampton' accent.

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Paddy and Murphy were walking past the local police station when they saw a sign saying "English serial killer wanted".
Paddy turns to Murphy and says,
"Don't the English get all the good jobs".

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith Paddy and Murphy were walking past the local police station when they saw a sign saying "English serial killer wanted". Paddy turns to Murphy and says, "Don't the English get all the good jobs".

Can always expect Lilth to turn up with an Irish joke. So tell me Lilth did you get that out of your 1986 Jimmy Tarbuck annual?

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quote:

Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan You'd be suprised because I have an English 'Northampton' accent.

Aaaah... so that's why you were talking that way in this thread! I thought you had just moved to England recently

quote:

Originally posted by Lilith Paddy and Murphy were walking past the local police station when they saw a sign saying "English serial killer wanted". Paddy turns to Murphy and says, "Don't the English get all the good jobs".

quote:

Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan Can always expect Lilth to turn up with an Irish joke. So tell me Lilth did you get that out of your 1986 Jimmy Tarbuck annual?

Someone had to drag this thread out of the mire with something funny, yours sucked