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English Rachel
I Am Canadian



Registered: Jul 2006
Location: Lovely Leslieville
See, spinsteration is now the majority!!!........

quote:
51% of U.S. women are now living without spouse
By Sam Roberts Published: January 15, 2007

For what experts say is probably the first time, more American women are living without a husband than with one, according to a New York Times analysis of census results.

In 2005, 51 percent of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 percent in 1950 and 49 percent in 2000.

Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and workplace policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits.

Several factors are driving the statistical shift. At one end of the age spectrum, women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners more often and for longer periods. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and, after a divorce, are more likely than men to delay remarriage, sometimes delighting in their newfound freedom.

In addition, marriage rates among black women remain low. Only about 30 percent of black women are living with a spouse, according to the Census Bureau, compared with about 49 percent of Hispanic women, 55 percent of non-Hispanic white women and more than 60 percent of Asian women.

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In a relatively small number of cases, the living arrangement is temporary, because the husbands are working out of town, are in the military or are institutionalized. But while most women eventually marry, the larger trend is unmistakable.

"This is yet another of the inexorable signs that there is no going back to a world where we can assume that marriage is the main institution that organizes people's lives," said Prof. Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, a nonprofit research group. "Most of these women will marry, or have married. But on average, Americans now spend half their adult lives outside marriage."

Professor Coontz said this was probably unprecedented with the possible exception of major wartime mobilizations and when black couples were separated during slavery.

William H. Frey, a demographer with the Brookings Institution, a research group in Washington, described the shift as "a clear tipping point, reflecting the culmination of post-1960 trends associated with greater independence and more flexible lifestyles for women."

"For better or worse, women are less dependent on men or the institution of marriage," Dr. Frey said. "Younger women understand this better, and are preparing to live longer parts of their lives alone or with nonmarried partners. For many older boomer and senior women, the institution of marriage did not hold the promise they might have hoped for, growing up in an 'Ozzie and Harriet' era."

Emily Zuzik, a 32-year-old musician and model who lives in the East Village of Manhattan, said she was not surprised by the trend.

"A lot of my friends are divorced or single or living alone," Ms. Zuzik said. "I know a lot of people in their 30s who have roommates."

Ms. Zuzik has lived with a boyfriend twice, once in California where the couple registered as domestic partners to qualify for his health insurance plan. "I don't plan to live with anyone else again until I am married," she said, "and I may opt to keep a place of my own even then."

Linda Barth, a 56-year-old magazine editor in Houston who has never married, said, "I used to divide my women friends into single friends and married friends. Now that doesn't seem to be an issue."

Sheila Jamison, who also lives in the East Village and works for a media company, is 45 and single. She says her family believes she would have had a better chance of finding a husband had she attended a historically black college instead of Duke.

"Considering all the weddings I attended in the '80s that have ended so very, very badly, I consider myself straight up lucky," Ms. Jamison said. "I have not sworn off marriage, but if I do wed, it will be to have a companion with whom I can travel and play parlor games in my old age."

Carol Crenshaw, 57, of Roswell, Ga., was divorced in 2005 after 33 years and says she is in no hurry to marry again.

"I'm in a place in my life where I'm comfortable," said Ms. Crenshaw, who has two grown sons. "I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. I was a wife and a mother. I don't feel like I need to do that again."

Similarly, Shelley Fidler, 59, a public policy adviser at a law firm, has sworn off marriage. She moved from rural Virginia to the vibrant Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, D.C., when her 30-year marriage ended.


SOURCE

Makes me feel moderately better being the mad bunny lady.

What do you guys think of this? Are we heading for social bedlam? I am not sure of my full opinion as I have strong arguments for both sides.... my parents have been married for 31 years, my mum was married at 19, had me at 22 and my sister at 26. I am 28 and love my life - should there really be such a generation gap with only 22 years difference?

Do we all get our love from the music and our friends rather than a significant other?


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:06  England
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urban_legend
Original Hammer Crew



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Canada

Real Love is dead.


Society has ruined it.


No one can believe in it anymore.


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:24  Canada
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English Rachel
I Am Canadian



Registered: Jul 2006
Location: Lovely Leslieville

quote:
Originally posted by urban_legend
Real Love is dead.


Society has ruined it.


No one can believe in it anymore.


Shit.

That's what I think too but I didn't want to truly believe it....


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:35  England
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Cuzo
Ninjaboot



Registered: Feb 2002
Location: I'm on your couch, eating your food

Be +


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:49 
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starsearcher
DigitalPunk on Flight643



Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto

What is real love anyway?

I don't think society has ruined real love, I think we've just evolved beyond societal norms and women have more freedoms. I don't see what's the big deal here.


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:49  Israel
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rabbitjoker
aural sadist



Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Toronto, ON, CANADA

Living without a husband does not equal living alone.

If you included common-law / co-habitation relationships I'm sure the 51% would drop significantly.

I think men and women are now sensible enough to engage in the marriage process much more rationally (via prior common-law / co-habituation). Today there isn't the same social forces at work not permitting pre-marital habitation, etc - so people are more likely to engage in it.

I suspect just a many people are "partnering up" but they're not doing it in the marriage way.


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Last edited by rabbitjoker on Jan-16-2007 at 15:03

Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:55  Canada
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English Rachel
I Am Canadian



Registered: Jul 2006
Location: Lovely Leslieville

quote:
Originally posted by starsearcher
women have more freedoms


Totally missed the point there... I was simply asking if the people on this board thought that it was the shape of things to come. Don't we need to partner up anymore? I know I certainly don't but there is still a big part of me that finds that sad. Very sad.


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 14:59  England
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urban_legend
Original Hammer Crew



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Canada

quote:
Originally posted by English Rachel
Shit.

That's what I think too but I didn't want to truly believe it....


I don't want to believe it either but its true, being a hopeless romantic myself I can see s huge difference in the way love is veiwed now adays and with us all being exposed to things like porn, the internet, music videos and such it has definatly faslified what sex shoudl mean and I think has tarnished what a relationship means. Usually sex is something you leave to do with someone you care about and you feel a special bond by sharing that, now adays its just sex all over anywhere with everyone. Society has o\almost made it seem ok to cheat, have multiple partners at one time, have one night stands and have made people think its the normal by telling stories through these outlets of tv and the net. There are more stories about sex and origies and cheating and such now than a real good love story of two people just loving each other for who they are not what they do or how they look.

The way people precieve love in this day in age really does make me sick to my stomach.


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 15:02  Canada
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starsearcher
DigitalPunk on Flight643



Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto

quote:
Originally posted by English Rachel
Totally missed the point there... I was simply asking if the people on this board thought that it was the shape of things to come. Don't we need to partner up anymore? I know I certainly don't but there is still a big part of me that finds that sad. Very sad.


I really don't think it's sad, and I actually think it's not just the shape of things to come, but it's already the reality. I guess maybe I have somewhat of a different view on this considering I'm a son to a single mother - although she's divorced.


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 15:05  Israel
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rabbitjoker
aural sadist



Registered: Aug 2002
Location: Toronto, ON, CANADA

quote:
Originally posted by urban_legend
Society has almost made it seem ok to cheat, have multiple partners at one time...


Infidelity is absolutely unacceptable behavior and I think it is important that society still maintains this position.


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 15:08  Canada
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urban_legend
Original Hammer Crew



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Canada

quote:
Originally posted by rabbitjoker
Infidelity is absolutely unacceptable behavior and I think it is important that society still maintains this position.


I agree, but that doesnt sell, so they wont.


___________________
Marco V is the MAN!!!!!

Old Post Jan-16-2007 15:16  Canada
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English Rachel
I Am Canadian



Registered: Jul 2006
Location: Lovely Leslieville

quote:
Originally posted by urban_legend
Society has almost made it seem ok to cheat, have multiple partners at one time, have one night stands and have made people think its the normal by telling stories through these outlets of tv and the net. There are more stories about sex and origies and cheating and such now than a real good love story of two people just loving each other for who they are not what they do or how they look.


Yes, I think that is true. My mum told me last week that, in a new survey, married couples argue more about internet porn than anything else as opposed to money (which had the top spot forever).

quote:
Originally posted by starsearcher
I really don't think it's sad, and I actually think it's not just the shape of things to come, but it's already the reality. I guess maybe I have somewhat of a different view on this considering I'm a son to a single mother - although she's divorced.


And I am sure your mom did a wonderful job - I am contemplating my future and whilst I don't want a child immediately, I have started saving so that I can afford to have one on my own if that's what I decide in a few years.

quote:
Originally posted by rabbitjoker
Infidelity is absolutely unacceptable behavior and I think it is important that society still maintains this position.


Exactly. I don't think the majority of society maintains this position though. Only those of us that are sanctimonious...


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Old Post Jan-16-2007 15:19  England
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