I'll start with one for each:

Simpsons- Homer: "You could say the fame was like a drug, but what was more like a drug were the drugs."

Futurama- Dr. Zoidberg: "It's funny because it's poison"

Family Guy- Quagmire: "Does this look like a Q to you?" [Said to Peter while shaving his pubic hair]

Zoidberg after riding Fry's sperm: You wont guess where ive just been to

___________________
"Those are my principles, if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

Simpsons - "ohh nuthing Marge just a lil confrontation with the BOOGIE MAN!"

Futurama- dont watch this show

Family Guy - "hey look its big foot!" "hey buddy leave me out of this..this is abt you not me..ok?"

simpsons - "Ah, the daily horoscope. 'Today will be a day like any other day.' D'OH!!! It just gets worse and worse." (There are so many good lines but this one came to mind first.)

futurama - ???

family guy - "I will call you 'Eduardo'."

lost

___________________
"This book is dedicated, with love, to Bobby who found the only pound of pure - Faith in a Loving God." Hubert Selby, Jr. dedication to the latest edition of Requiem for a Dream

two simpsons quotes
Captain: So Simpson, what do you want out of life??
Homer: I want peassssssssss
Captain: Yes wel all want peace, but whats the best way to get it??
Homer: With a knife??
Captain: Yes, not with the olive branch, but with a knife, you know Simpson your like the son I never had
Homer: and your like the father I never visit
thats my fave, it's a classic
and in the "Who shot Mr burns episode" when Homer has just sprayed his name all over burns's office and burns walks in and says
"who the devil are you??"

The Simpsons: "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:
You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t."

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night."

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

"Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)

"I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."

"Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle."

"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!" <----------- WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!

Family Guy:

The deep south, eh. Is that where all the black guys are really lazy and the white guys are just as lazy but theyre mad at the black guys for being lazy?

Just because you cant feel your teeth doesnt mean the girl cant feel your insults.

god theres more, i cant remember and/or write them all down...late/

i now feel that i need to rep for family guy cause i doubt peeps watch in enough. i suggest you check out kazaa or something and pick these episodes up:
THE BEST FAMILY GUYs-
1)312 - To Live and Die in Dixie
2)301 - The Thin White Line
3)220 - Wasted Talent
4)303 - Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
5)216 - There's Something About Paulie

of course they all kick ass...but these are the shit. OH and the 'does this look like a Q to you?' is classic, but i only got it today, so i need to watch it!

___________________
'That's like telling a Kodiak bear to stop fcking older men.'

Last edited by biznology on Mar-25-2002 at 23:53

i love the simpsons and family guy.....they're so great.

Ralph is great too....

hey biz the family guy is a great show but i've been without a tv for about two and a half years now so all my knowledge is based in old simpsons episodes. but a family guy quote i remember is:

guy in market to peter's wife: "your wife's got nice melons"
peter: "...wait a minute"
peter's wife: "peter! i'm holding melons."
peter: "oh okay"
guy: "your wife's got nice hooters"
peter: "...wait a minute"
peter's wife: "peter! i'm holding hooters" (shows her holding owls)
peter: "oh okay"
guy: "your wife's hot" (guy runs away)

that one killed me when i saw it in the episode. stewie lines are great but i just can't recall their exact wording. like when he was teething. "incisor so we meet again." and they try to fight but they can't so they collaborate to bite the tongue. cracked me up!!

another great simpsons dialogue:

homer walks into old-school chinese store a la gremlins cuz he needs to find a present for bart's birthday...

homer: "i'll take that talking krusty doll"
chinese guy: "beware! the doll has a terrible curse."
homer: "d'oh!"
cg: "but it comes with a free frogurt."
homer: "woohoo!"
cg: "the frogurt is also cursed."
homer: "d'oh!"
cg: "but you get your choice of toppings."
homer: "woohoo!"
cg: "the toppings contain potassium benzoate."
homer: ...
cg: "that's bad."
homer: "d'oh!"
...
homer: "can i go now?"

classic!

lost

___________________
"This book is dedicated, with love, to Bobby who found the only pound of pure - Faith in a Loving God." Hubert Selby, Jr. dedication to the latest edition of Requiem for a Dream

Ralph after eating poisoned berries: "it tastes like...burning"
Ralph after walking into a porno theather: "hey, everybody's hugging"

LOL...I love the Simpsons

my all-time favorite ralph quote is:

"and there's the sandbox. i'm not allowed to play in the sandbox because there's a leprechaun there and he tells me to burn things."

and then at the end of the episode you see the leprechaun sitting on his shoulder and he says "you know what to do ralphie. burn it down! burn 'em all!" ROFL!! leprechauns are funny.

lost

___________________
"This book is dedicated, with love, to Bobby who found the only pound of pure - Faith in a Loving God." Hubert Selby, Jr. dedication to the latest edition of Requiem for a Dream

nope, youve all missed the best ralph quote in existence:
'aww, i crushed my wookie' -after winning the diorama competition...late/

___________________
'That's like telling a Kodiak bear to stop fcking older men.'