cannot sleep
argl..
what a mess, it is now 3:40am, i got to get up at 7 am and i just cannot fall asleep (tried for the last 30 mins!)
there is so much going on in my head, it is aweful:
1. I have been planning to go to see Scot Project this friday for weeks now, and I found out today, that my Engineering Honor society wants to have their initiation ceremony and supper THIS FRIDAY. Generally, this would not be a problem, if I did not have to drive to NYC (~3 hours) to get to see Scott Project. If I had to go to Boston only -1 hour drive- I would have no problem doing both, but I would not make it on time to NYC.
I told them that i have 'previous commitments' and that i cannot make it. Now I am curious to see what develops. If they tell me that I won't be a memeber if I don't show up this Friday, I am not sure for which I will decide. I can always join next year -as a senior- but on a resumee it looks better if i got inducted as a junior!
2. I have finally gotten some really nice messages from my current GF. I had been afraid that she wanted to break up with me for the last week or two, but finally, she sent some very nice words to me. While I should be excited about this, I am also wondering, if she is only toying with me.. I know, I should not think that, but a close friend of hers told me some messed up stuff about her. But then again, her close friend has a good reason to lie to me, since she has a crush on me.. dang
3. I am planning to roll at AvB, but I am afraid of having a bad roll for many reasons. First off, I have only done E once before and I had the time of my life, but only because everything else in my life was going great:
I had broken my personal best for the Marathon distance by 13 minutes, finally breaking the 3:30 mark!
I had completed my college project and was expecting to have done really well on it.
My girldfriend and I were together at a nice club, with some really good friends and we all fit together really well, since the group of us had been having fun for the last couple of weeks.
Now, my life is not as peachy, for once, I have GF trouble, then my classes are dragging me down, though i will be done by the time i will see AvB, and lastly I have no job for the summer just yet 
apart from that, I do not know, how the E I took overseas will compare to the stuff i will get here..
oh well, so many things running around in my mind (additionally to the stuff above, i have a bunch of classwork that i just cannot figure out and that is giving me major troubles too) that i just cannot relax and fall asleep, so i guess that is why i write this HUGE rant here at now 3:50 am...
thanks for reading me, 
Drizzt81
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I see your 4 Crushs and raise you 3 As The Rush Comes. - Yan from PvD's first summerstage event in '03
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