comedy gold that. i love guardian's approach on the nation's footballing activities. just like their coach and the health of the squad - one big joke.
of course the bigger joke being the russians in their loss to israel.

i know i know, it's a bit sports related, but i think our UKie members will have a fine laugh at this -

20 good reasons for Croatia not to win tomorrow night


Tuesday November 20, 2007
The Guardian


1 With Croatia currently a candidate for accessession to the European Union, the UK vote could go either way.

2 The winning goal may make you the toast of Zagreb, but you can kiss that lucrative Premier League deal with Middlesbrough goodbye.

3 Top the group and you could well join the list of seeds - thus ruling out guaranteed Euro 2008 group-stage wins over Austria or Switzerland.

4 Defeat may cost Steve McClaren his job, thus denying his tactical innovation and boisterous pre-match routines a wider audience.

5 A highly-motivated English side hellbent on avenging the nation's defeat (Bolton, perhaps) could face Dinamo Zagreb in the Uefa Cup knock-out stages and scrape a 0-0 draw in the first leg.

6 Loud, angry, sunburned English tourists may boycott the popular resorts of the Adriatic.

7 Bang go Slaven Bilic's hopes of the Birmingham job.

8 Future three-part television dramas such as the BBC's Casanova, filmed partly in Dubrovnik, could be relocated to Kosovo.

9 The Moreska dancers of Korluka - kindred spirits of Morris dancers - may not be as welcome in England's picturesque villages as they were on their 1966 and 1980 visits.

10 Goran Ivanisevic would no longer be the darling of the senior tennis events at the Royal Albert Hall.

11 London's top designers - furious at England's defeat - will stay away from Zagreb Fashion Week, thus marginally reducing the event's prestige.

12 Neutral English supporters going to Austria and Switzerland will heartily support your opponents. Unless you're playing Germany. Or Portugal. Or France.

13 Portsmouth's Niko Kranjcar, Manchester City's Verdran Corluka and Arsenal's Eduardo da Silva would feel the fans' ire week after week in the Premier League. They might not mind but it would get very tedious for the rest of us.

14 Aston Villa's fond memories of Bosko Balaban would be irreparably tainted.

15 Applause at Wimbledon for Mario Ancic and Ivo Karlovic would be notably muted, even when they play jolly well and knock up with the ball boys.

16 You won't get any credit - England will have been either a) cheated (World Cup 1986, World Cup 2006, World Cup qualifying 1994), b) unaccountably unlucky (World Cup 1990, Euro 2004, World Cup qualifying 1994), or c) foiled by an individual error (World Cup 1998, World Cup 2002, World Cup qualifying 1994).

17 You'll be denying some exclusive Alpine resort the benefit of 30-odd wags with platinum Amexes and a raging thirst.

18 David Beckham might not get to 100 caps - and nobody wants that.

19 You would condemn the match official to an early retirement after England fans bombard his website with death threats.

20 No major tournament is complete without England's attractive, free- flowing, fast-breaking brand of football and much-loved army of followers.


The tourism jokes being some of the highlights.

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica 5 A highly-motivated English side hellbent on avenging the nation's defeat (Bolton, perhaps) could face Dinamo Zagreb in the Uefa Cup knock-out stages and scrape a 0-0 draw in the first leg.

As a Bolton fan, I'd happily take that now. But as it is, we actually do end up going to Belgrade in a couple of weeks times instead.

there's been a lot of talk from the fans of the side that played some of the shittiest world cup football last year.

___________________

Wait a minute Becks is still playing????

quote:

Originally posted by glass Wait a minute Becks is still playing????

he is. the problem now is his age/fitness levels and the fact he's playing in a vastly inferior level of football. When he signed for LA, he'd been dropped from england & didn't think he'd get back in. Basically he's not playing at a hard enough level week in/out for what he needs to be to consistently challenge for his england place. He has the talent, but age & the aforementioned reasons are against him, as are the fact we have 3 very good young right midfielders we could pick ahead of him.

One could list a million reasons, Croatia will still demolish the fag boys from England

___________________
Summary of an ASOT episode:

- The newest tunes selected!!!! the hottest tracks in a row!!!! here is your host arrrrrmin van buuuuuuuuhreeennnnnhnnhhn
- hello and welcome glad u cud join us this is a state of trance episode blah blah blah
- waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaah whineeeeeeeeeeeee blah blaaaaaaaaah
- that was the newest track by blah bla and before that was blaaaaaaah
- waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....the end
Vomit-inducing trifecta tunage: Zocalo | Summer Dream | Shivers

quote:

Originally posted by Azz3D One could list a million reasons, Croatia will still demolish the fag boys from England

you can call us fagboys all you want, but look at your numpties







you get the idea

lol ian. good post.

croatia were truly truly shit in the WC last year, i am looking forward to raping this second-rate bunch of arse-tonguers.

___________________

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN lol ian. good post. croatia were truly truly shit in the WC last year, i am looking forward to raping this second-rate bunch of arse-tonguers.

There's no doubting they have ability, but our game in Zagreb was where Robbo made his howlers and you couldn't plan for the kind of things that happened then, it was a freak of a game, so it's time for us to put it right at our true home.

quote:

Originally posted by Ian There's no doubting they have ability, but our game in Zagreb was where Robbo made his howlers and you couldn't plan for the kind of things that happened then, it was a freak of a game, so it's time for us to put it right at our true home.

well, we dont get to see any of the qualifiers (indeed, me may not get the competition on free to air ) but they sucked terribly in the world cup. not that england were brilliant, but croatia were abysmal.

___________________

Since it's a home game, it's bad for us anyway. It'll be on the BBC which means listening to Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer, Mark Lawrenson, Gary Lineker and perhaps someone as interesting as Trevor Brooking for the broadcast. They're so negative & monotonous, it's unbearable, I pay for sky & we get better commentary even from the scottish legend Andy Gray.

quote:

Originally posted by Ian Since it's a home game, it's bad for us anyway. It'll be on the BBC which means listening to Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer, Mark Lawrenson, Gary Lineker and perhaps someone as interesting as Trevor Brooking for the broadcast. They're so negative & monotonous, it's unbearable, I pay for sky & we get better commentary even from the scottish legend Andy Gray.

ive always been a fan of martin tyler

___________________