One that I heard today at work:

Women "Theses are the best jujubes I've ever tasted!"
Man "You gotta love those, especially when they stick to your cavities! Haha!"
Women "No, that's the thing! These ones don't! These are the best ones ever because of that!"

wow.

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Dark Dirty Tech Tribal. | Hands in air (trance) and feet on the floor (house).

This was the stupid line of the day today that someone said to me "i was online on the internet on hold" i wonder if there was any hold music.

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Just as I was opening this thread...

Girl: Why the fuck did you do that?
Guy: Do what?
Girl: You lit my fucking bag on fire!

quote:

Four-year-old boy to stranger: Do you have a little boy? 30-ish single man: No, not yet. Four-year-old boy: Why not? 30-ish single man: Because I don't have a wife yet. Four-year-old boy: Why not? 30-ish single man: You sound like my mother.

quote:

Small child, trying a Sprite: I don't like it. Dad: If you don't like the taste, just spit it out. Mom: I've heard that one before.

quote:

God Squad lady: Praise Jesus! You won't be saved without Jesus! You have to start believing in Jesus to be saved! Jesus will always be there for you! Suit #1: Would it be so awful if we pushed her out when the doors open? Suit #2: No. Jesus will save her.

quote:

Guy: I was seeing her for a while, but it just wasn't working out. I guess I'm not over Jessica. Girl: What? Guy: What do you mean, what? Girl: I thought you were gay. Guy: Oh, because I'm a hairdresser. How original. Just because I'm a hairdresser you think I'm gay. Girl: No. I thought you were gay because when I stayed at your house four years ago I woke up and saw you fucking Matt in the ass! Guy: Oh my God. Matt and I have never talked about that night.

quote:

Pharmacist: You should probably re-sign your card. Woman: Why? Pharmacist: Well, you signed over the magnetic strip. You're supposed to sign over the white part down here. Woman: Then how would the machine read my signature? That doesn't make any sense. Pharmacist: No, it's a magnetic strip. It reads the information, not the signature. Woman: I don't think you know what you're talking about. That's not how the machines work. You're a pharmacist, not an electrician.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/

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I'm the trouble starter, fuckin' instigator.
I'm the fear-addicted, danger illustrated.

Can you ask what kind of ju jubes they were? The teeth sticking thing is a total pain.


Also...
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/

quote:

Originally posted by Skipper Can you ask what kind of ju jubes they were? The teeth sticking thing is a total pain. Also... http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/

Love this site. pure annoying amusement. Worst part is, if you're from London it's more of a "OMG, I think I know some of these people" because so many Western students talk like the quotes on the site.

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quote:

Originally posted by Cosmic Fur http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/ http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/

Thanks a lot you bastard...


I can't stop reading ...


hahaha

quote:

Older woman: What's the time, dear? Teen girl: Two o'clock. Old woman: Are you sure? It looks dark outside. Teen girl, annoyed: Yes, I'm sure. Man, overhearing: Actually, I think it's seven P.M. Teen girl: Oh, right. I forgot we set the clocks back this weekend. --86th & Lexington

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"I'm not stoned...I'm just Asian!"

Last edited by exstasie on Jan-28-2008 at 19:49

quote:

Originally posted by Chris Allen Love this site. pure annoying amusement. Worst part is, if you're from London it's more of a "OMG, I think I know some of these people" because so many Western students talk like the quotes on the site.

I laughed at the Ivey one in particular...that site has been around for ages and most of it rings completely true, you're right.

after receiving a call:

me: woah i was just thinking about calling you
girl: really? thats crazy. we have that thing where you can read minds... espn!
me: ya espn is wicked. i love the 2 minute sportswrap
girl: what?!

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i really only come here for the fat pie guy threads

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

Me: It's not my fault your girlfriend is too stupid to realize that.
Girl: You know what Dave, I don't have to sit here and take this shit from you.
Me: You can stand up and take it if you prefer.

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If you can't be good, be careful.

"Hey look, I can make a heart-shape with my hands!!!" So Fucking what? Stop it. You're a douche.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in the eyes of your enemies.

quote:

Originally posted by Dr. DAS Me: You can stand up and take it if you prefer.

lol. ninja

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i really only come here for the fat pie guy threads

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER