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Things that make you go, hmmmmm...
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin
him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults
enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it
disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so
popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what
does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called
a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not
called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy
opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite
things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety
one?
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence
in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is
the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen
defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be
delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed?
14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's
licenses of bald men?
15. I thought about how mothers feed their
babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use - tooth picks?
16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in
the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to
them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?
17. You never really learn to swear until you
learn to drive.
18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when
their team is winning.
19. Last night I played a blank tape at full
blast. The mime next door went bonkers.
20. Ever wonder about those people who spend
£2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards:
NAIVE
21. Isn't making a smoking section in a
restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming
pool?
22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are
known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are
known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee
Titans?
23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea,
does that mean that one person actually ENJOYS it?
___________________
| quote: | Originally posted by Ravemontreal
Once I took a piss in front of everybody at Stereo. Put the garbage under the mixer, and did it right there while people were dancing and screaming. people thought I was playing with the mixer but I was playing with my zizi. |
| quote: | Originally posted by Enjoy
a classic from the aria days:
me: are you on TA?
girl: uhhhh... im on speed
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