The Manager
YMCA Hotel
London


Dear Signore Direttoer.

Now I am'a - tella you story how i wa a'-treated at your hotella. I am a'-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a younga Christian man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see There is no shit in my bed - How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?
So I calla down to receptione an tella: "I wanta shit." They tella me: "Go to toilet"
I say "No No I wanta shit in my bed." They say "You'd better not sh it in your bed, you sonna wa bitch. What is sonna wa bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and to pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast.
I tella waitress and pointa at toast "I wanta piss"
She tella me "Go to toilet" I say NO NO I wanta piss on my plate. She then say to me "You'd bloody well not piss on the plate, You sonna wa bitch. Second person who do not even know me calla me sonna wa bitch. Later I go for dinner in your ristor ante.
Spoon and Knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fuck" and she tella me "Sure everyone wanta fuck"
I tella her No No you don't unterstand me. I wanta fuck on the table. She tella me: "So you sonna wa bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here.
So I go to receptione and ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel any more. When I have paid the bila the portier say to me "Thank you, and peace on you"
I say "Piss on you too, you sonna wa bitch. I go back to Italy "Inever more gonna stay your hotel no more, you sonna wa bitch.

Sincerely
Enrico Morelli
Roma

___________________
Tuch me