Share your stories of times when you opened your mouth only to put your foot so far in it that your asshole was choking on it coming out the other end!

Here's mine:

I went to go see my friend's band play on Friday night, and they were really awesome. There were a few moments where I could really tell who their influences were, and my boyfriend noticed this too. But then something struck me about the lead singer...he was a little *too* much like someone I couldn't place...

But then after a few more songs it struck me...LIAM GALLAGHER. Motherfucker was TOTALLY copping his steez on the mic. He even sang in a bit of an accent! How GAY is that?? He just had an all around douchebag stage presence. I wasn't the only one who thought so either...many people in the crowd commented on the same things.

So after the show I go outside for a smoke and see my buddy's brother. I go right up to him and say, "Wow that was awesome, but man, wtf is up with the lead singer?? Who does he think he is?? Liam Gallagher?? And what's up with the shades? Guy's a douche!!"

And then he goes, "Um, Jenn....*points off to his right, where the lead singer is standing*"

And he was just looking at me, stunned. LoL.

I didn't bother trying to get myself out of it...I just said "Oh shit, sorry...but honestly, you have a great voice and should try to do your own thing." And then I told him just to ignore me, cause I'm a cunt.

I must admit I was a little embarrassed...but the funny thing is that his bandmates were right there, and after the guy walked away they were like.."You're so right though, lolololol."

I have a couple.

One time a group of friends and I went to a club. Before we left we were pre-gaming, but something about that day just had everybody in a bad mood. One of my buddies was acting emo, and one of my female friends was being picky. So everyone was just getting annoyed by the 2 of them, and we would kind of bash the opposite when talking to either one. The next day I was sending a text to someone when the my female friend decided to call. I had the auto-response with any button feature on my phone. I accidentally answered the phone as I was bashing her with another a third friend that was in the group the night before. I quickly hung up when I caught it only to have to her call me right back. I tried to play it off as some other person and the emo guy annoying as the night before. She barely bought it, but I don't really think she did.


Another time I was at a BBQ/Car show. I was manning the grill, and saw everyone roll in. Some kid decided to use some part of weather stripping for the big garage door as a front lip/body kit. I saw the car and started clowning on how some kid was PM-ing me about it and I said it was a bad idea. I was bashing it only to see the owner 5 feet behind me. I tried to stand by what i said, but I actually felt pretty bad.

copying a crappy singer a double whammy !

___________________

insignificant cor member alliance

It really was pathetic man. And I don't even give a shit if it hurt his ego...he needed to hear it, imo....and his bandmates and friends all agreed with me. They were laughing their asses off at the whole situation.

I totally put my foot in my mouth today. I sometimes work Sundays for my boss' father in law = extra spending cash & easy work plus he's a great guy!!

He told me yesterday my boss has a HUGE meeting tomorrow. So this morning I tell the OTHER Boss.. so I hear Jack [my boss] has a HUGE MEETING Tomorrow. He had no idea what I was talkign about and my boss came in like "what meeting am i supposed to have tomorrow??"

He hasn't told me I fuked up but I know I totally did. FUK!

___________________
Although you are far away
I know you'll always be
Near to me
Near to me

R.I.P. DarkAngel 12-16-o9

Haha, you just totally screwed up that band chemistry man

Mine was when I was talking on MSN about how cheap and annoying a chap was, and didn't realise he was part of the convo as well. Damn MSN and it's nicknames, they should have the email addresses clearly defined there. To make things worse, he was the brother of my friend's girlfriend and they broke up three days later Not sure if it was because of what I said (which was pretty lowblow-ish), but I think it was.

So,

___________________
Soundcloud
MixCrate

Oh, I have a nasty one...

The second time I went to Prague there was this physical education professor from another school with us, he also works as a bouncer on weekends. Guy is around 6'3'' and 265 lbs. He has PTSD and some strange tick with his mouth, he kind of rotates his jaws involuntary, every few seconds. Anyway, he was kinda annoying and acted like he's the smartest and knows everything so we didn't really like him. His daughter came along with us as well, but she didn't really talk to anyone in the group except to him. So we were looking around Prague in a group and I was joking with my friend about that guy. I've told him something along these lines: "Imagine that guy sitting on a bench and doing his mouth tick. When you approach him and ask what is he doing, he replies: 'Oh, nothing, just throwin' my jaws around...'" Few seconds later I turn around and see his daughter looking at me, as she obviously heard the whole conversation. Man, was I embarrassed... However, I doubt she told him about that because I even talked to him later and he turned out to be a good guy. Or she did, but he didn't really care. He's probably used to people commenting it because it really stings you in the eye.

when i was in middle school, i was at a little league game with my boyfriend, and we were sitting on top of this grass hill that had a pathway that zig-zagged up the hill with wooden planks on the sides of it. i notice this old guy walking up the path, and he was trying to balance on the wooden edge but kept stumbling off, so out of complete boredom and immaturity, i say "wouldn't it be funny if that guy fell over and rolled down the hill?"

my boyfriend replies "no... that's my grandpa!"

___________________
+ + + AMBROSIA
lovebirds tracklist archive | vincenzo tracklist archive

I was about 16 working in a variety store when a man came in and started telling me about how he was a police officer, and that he was a member of some organization. Anyway, he continued to blab about this organization, and I asked "What's the name of it?" and he replied "It's called C.O.W."


...





......





.........






"Oh, is that instead of Pig?"



LMAO!

He got so pissed off he stormed out of the store. I actually hadn't really clued into my stupidity until the girl working with me fell to the floor in hysterics.

During a class trip to Budapest (we were in the same hostel than the 2 teachers, two 50-year-old ladies, my French teacher and my mathematics) that kept watch over us), a friend of mine was desperate by his misfortune with girls.

When we went to the Parliament, he told me: "I'm so sad not a single woman likes me."

I replied to him with my best redneck voice: "stop whining, I'm sure you'll find some hole to fill", with a sonorous pat in the back.

He stopped to walk, the 2 teachers were just behind us.

The worst thing is that the same night at some boratish-gipsy restaurant I lost a bet and was obliged to invite my math teacher to dance with me. She accepted and now my friends have videos of me dancing with her.

I was working in a butchery in a supermarket about 2 years ago, and I spotted what I thought was boss's fat bitch of a girlfriend over getting some milk from the fridges. I said to my co-worker / mate:

"There's the boss's fat hoor of a girlfriend in again...look at the size of her!".

He turned to me and said, "That's my girlfriend..."
I looked closer, and it was her

I felt like dieing there and then. Funny thing was though that he didn't take it that bad...I still felt like a right cunt though.

___________________
Signature Suspended as it was deemed offensive

quote:

Originally posted by RickyM I was working in a butchery in a supermarket about 2 years ago, and I spotted what I thought was boss's fat bitch of a girlfriend over getting some milk from the fridges. I said to my co-worker / mate: "There's the boss's fat hoor of a girlfriend in again...look at the size of her!". He turned to me and said, "That's my girlfriend..." I looked closer, and it was her I felt like dieing there and then. Funny thing was though that he didn't take it that bad...I still felt like a right cunt though.

Ahahaha, finally one worth laughing at!