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NeoShaman
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Jul 2005
Location:
Obligations

Had a fight with my girl, so I wonder...

What kind of obligations do you have (one should have) in a relationship?

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:12 
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Krypton
83.798 g/6.022x10^23



Registered: Nov 2003
Location: Texas

1. Don't cheat.
2. Don't be an asshole for no reason.
3. If not married, DO NOT share financial obligations. For example, DO NOT co-sign on her loan, and vice-versa for her.


___________________

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:15  Korea-Democratic Peoples Republic
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idoru
You Can Call Me Al



Registered: May 2004
Location: Cascadia

I bet it was over something trivial.

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:17 
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NeoShaman
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Jul 2005
Location:

How about a simple one... do you think you're obliged to devote free time?

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:17 
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idoru
You Can Call Me Al



Registered: May 2004
Location: Cascadia

quote:
Originally posted by NeoShaman
How about a simple one... do you think you're obliged to devote free time?


I knew it. Someone get me a fucking cookie.

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:17 
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L.E.N.
Rippin' and a Tearin'



Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Been Pullin out since '93 OCTA#9 / LATA #57

Depends how serious you are. When I was in my 7 year relationship I would put up with alot more and pick my battles. We were good at working through the petty shit that came up. Now that its over...I dont put up any of that bickering shit. Too stressful. Once they start nagging or arguing...the honeymoon phase is over and I get the fuck out.

So, where I stand now....Id delete her out of my phone and not answer her calls. Pick up some beer. Turn on the turntables and have a nice quiet night of doing whatever the hell I want.


___________________

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:19  United States
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NeoShaman
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Jul 2005
Location:

quote:
Originally posted by L.E.N.
Depends how serious you are. When I was in my 7 year relationship I would put up with alot more and pick my battles. We were good at working through the petty shit that came up. Now that its over...I dont put up any of that bickering shit. Too stressful. Once they start nagging or arguing...the honeymoon phase is over and I get the fuck out.

So, where I stand now....Id delete her out of my phone and not answer her calls. Pick up some beer. Turn on the turntables and have a nice quiet night of doing whatever the hell I want.


Wish it could be that easy for me to dump her.

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:20 
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L.E.N.
Rippin' and a Tearin'



Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Been Pullin out since '93 OCTA#9 / LATA #57

Its not hard man. Unless you share the same place, bank account, car payments/loans. Thats why you dont get tied up in that shit.

If you have your own place - Tell her to fuck off.

Im getting a feeling you depend on her for something besides sex...

Money? Does she pay for your rent,car,or school?

Lease?

If not, you can pack your shit a roll out. Dont forget to grab your balls out of her purse on the way out too.


___________________

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:29  United States
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NeoShaman
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Jul 2005
Location:

quote:
Originally posted by L.E.N.


Im getting a feeling you depend on her for something besides sex...




Love... ffs

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:34 
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The17sss
C.R.E.A.M.



Registered: May 2008
Location: Charlotte, NC

quote:
Originally posted by NeoShaman
Wish it could be that easy for me to dump her.


Do you want to break up with her? I can't tell if you're looking for others to validate what you may already want, or if you really don't know what to do. I don't know dude... if you're happy with someone, you want to spend your free time with them and shouldn't really feel like it's an obligation. When the trivial fights happen too much or for too long, it's really about something else.

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:37  United States
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NeoShaman
tranceaddict in training



Registered: Jul 2005
Location:

quote:
Originally posted by The17sss
Do you want to break up with her? I can't tell if you're looking for others to validate what you may already want, or if you really don't know what to do. I don't know dude... if you're happy with someone, you want to spend your free time with them and shouldn't really feel like it's an obligation. When the trivial fights happen too much or for too long, it's really about something else.


She's taking a shit on my head... playing some fucking twisted "game"... after our conflict she asks for a break, 5 days later says she's sorry and ashamed, but still with no time to meet, 4 days later our anniversary comes by, I only get to meet her for 30mins, so she invites me for a champagne evening, yesterday she cancels it cause of some fake head ache, today she postpones it for "some time in the future"... then tonight, takes a shit on the fact that I miss her by saying she will have absolutely no time during the weekend (she lives in a neary building) and when I try to keep on asking her she says "Oh all this time (~10days) I started to feel free and without obligations, please don't start again"...I wouldn't even do shit like this to a friend of mine...

...and still manages to say "I love you" after all of this

...fuck.

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:45 
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L.E.N.
Rippin' and a Tearin'



Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Been Pullin out since '93 OCTA#9 / LATA #57

quote:
Originally posted by NeoShaman
Love... ffs


Still havent said, if you live with her.

How long have you been together?

How old are you?

Please....I used "love" as an excuse to stick around well after I knew we were on the way out. I was also stuck in a lease/ car payment with her...another reason I let it drag out. Im just saying that I didnt want out because of "love" and hoping it would get better when it never did. This was over the last 6 months of the relationship. Prior to that it was actually pretty good.


___________________

Old Post Jul-18-2008 23:46  United States
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