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read and be amused for a short period of time:
There was a 6 year old boy and he was being abused by his parents. They went to court to grant his grandparents custody of him when it turned out that his grandparents abuse him too. So with no other option available at the time other than foster care the judge asked the boy, "Who do you want to live with?", In which the boy answered "The Miami Dolphins." The whole courtroom erupted in laughter at his answer. The judge then asks him "Why do you want to live with the Miami Dolphins for?" The boy answered "Because they don't beat nobody"
An oldy from back in the day:
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lie down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.
One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."
ok I'm done... entertain yourself now!! 
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