quote:

Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike I'll get the ball rolling with a joke that tickled me: 7 Englishmen and an Irishman are in a rape line up. The victim walks in - Paddy steps forward and shouts "Thats her, the miserable cunt!!!"

My pathetic contribution.....

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

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quote:

Originally posted by Acton My pathetic contribution..... Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

love it. I'm going to use that one!

quote:

Originally posted by Acton Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

Although that last line isn't needed.

quote:

Originally posted by Ian love it. I'm going to use that one!

I'm just glad someone other than me found it funny!

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maybe i have a.d.d. but you gotta get that shit to the point son

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Wife gets naked & asks hubby,'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'. Hubby looks her up & down and replies,'Your sense of humour!'

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[ I May Upload Something Someday ]

why does a nigga cross the road?

Two old age pensioners are having a 69.

After 5 minutes he says 'Sorry love the smell's too bad down there, i can't carry on.'

'That'll be my arthritis' she says.

'What? i've never heard of anyone having arthritis in their fanny before!'

'No' she says, 'Its in my arms and hands.... and i cant wipe my arse.'

quote:

Originally posted by leebates1986 Two old age pensioners are having a 69. After 5 minutes he says 'Sorry love the smell's too bad down there, i can't carry on.' 'That'll be my arthritis' she says. 'What? i've never heard of anyone having arthritis in their fanny before!' 'No' she says, 'Its in my arms and hands.... and i cant wipe my arse.'

Love it.

___________________

>>> Beatport Stuff <<<

What makes 9 out of 10 people happy?

Gang Rape.

quote:

Originally posted by leebates1986 What makes 9 out of 10 people happy? Gang Rape.