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The Most Offensive World Records!!
MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out
of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches
from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without
preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football
into her vagina.
ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England,
squeezed a zit and projected a detectable
amount of yellow pus distance of 7ft 1 inch.
WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage
and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen
on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm
very recently attained bull semen. It is believed to be a potent
aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York.
It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful
of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed,
but served with a tampon(unused)instead of a cocktail
umbrella and is known as a '**** Pump'.
GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial'
amount of seminal fluid. He also holds the records for the
greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of
ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.
LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American
who,produced a 'staggering turd' over a period of 2 hr 12
mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is
banned from 134 washrooms in his state.
MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart
for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds
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