Right straight in.

Nice tight percussion. But what is that noise that comes in with the kick? Is that intentional (in which case take it out) or unintentional (in which case find out what you did with the kick and get rid of it), either way it sounds pretty offputting lol. Is it clicking as well? You may need to upgrade your computer. Around 1.14 the notes are all wrong and the two melodies clash spectacurlarly imo. The track is pitching down in the breakdown too i don't know if you were aware?

The sounds you are using are alright here (a bit clichéd but never mind) however you really need to work on the way you use them. Could be a neat little tune if you work on it.

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He's got doctors, nurses, fireman, churches,
Kindergarten, wedding bells and jet black hearses;
Passport, bankcard, maybe his own yard, Locks and alarms,
Trinkets and charms, Maybe a baby in his arms

excellent - thanks for reply - ...yes I have overloaded new computer already - i think i am using effects everywhere when i should be grouping layered sounds ato a bus and effecting once.

I intend to redo this but also try another at same time or else i will work on sme one forever...haha appreciat the feedback and the more the nbetter so i can improve as i am new to this

thanks

No problem, instead of routing a group of sounds to one bus just do the age old trick of bouncing your seperate tracks to audio and then imprting them back in your project. You have more individual control over your sounds then and it will hardly use any memory.

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He's got doctors, nurses, fireman, churches,
Kindergarten, wedding bells and jet black hearses;
Passport, bankcard, maybe his own yard, Locks and alarms,
Trinkets and charms, Maybe a baby in his arms

yes probably a goo idea when the cpu is in the red!!

Interesting about the sounds being a bit clichéd - this is intentional at the moment.

reading around they say you have to use the right sounds etc for the genre but at the same time in other places that you have to be original.

I think you have to try and do both so in longer term i have to try and be inividual with the sounds but as I am new to this I thought I would try and reproduce the typical sounds as if i tried to be original right now it would not fit the genre at all - once i get the hang of the sound i can try and be more original with them