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The bad before the good...
I had trouble hearing the vocals distinctly enough to hear the lyrics and the backing instruments seem both sparse and drown out by an over-present hi-hat wash. There is some phase induced sibilance occurring when vocal 's's collide with the hi-hats.
The overall track doesn't breath - It sounds very static. If you're like me, however, you might be saving automation for the final phase of the mix.
The excellent!
All that said, it's a very, very good start. Consider me impressed. There are a lot of good ideas you have that ought to be kept. While the track needs some finessing, I have high hopes for its final version.
Great job, so far.
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