Personally, the build feels altogether way too long. The little FX you are suing as I guess melodic stabs( I dunno what to call them) get annoying after a while.
The kick is spot on, and the bass melody is deep, yet subdued.
I like the concept, but the direction seems mismanaged to be something to send out as a demo at the moment right now.
My 2 cents at least. PM if you have questions.
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San Diego Trance Family Co-Founder EDM Identity Content Strategist A&R