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i like it, for the most part.
i've never heard the original- or at least, the title didn't sound familiar. i didn't want to hear it first either, i'd rather judge your production first and compare it later. first of all i was a bit bothered that the repeating sample near the beginning was EQ'd with the lows killed, but then once the main groove kicked in i understood why you did it. it needs something to bridge the gap between the dubby intro into the main part- and not just like, a simple reverse crash or something.. feels like it needs a drumfill or some sort of chopped up groove to carry it over.
was the percussion strictly samples or was it loop-based? couldn't hurt to change it up a little bit (though i realize that you may have been going for the "stripped down" sound that is prevalent in so much techy stuff nowadays). i also feel that the track is a bit too long/epic for the style of music that it is. i think you could've gotten the idea across just as effectively with a slightly shortened version (like, 5 to 6 min or so). also have you thought about adding a counter-melody synth of some sort, or perhaps some sort of staccato melody line or something.. the bass is so heavy it really kills a lot of "room" in the mix but i think it could make the track more interesting and a bit more memorable if done right.
other than that i think the general idea is good and the composition is sound- just need to iron out the details a bit.
edit: actually i just read what you posted, lol, and i pretty much think exactly what you think needs to be changed. it did come in a bit loud but it would make sense so long as you have *something* there to bridge the two ideas together. like i said, a chopped/stuttered groove, a little drumfill, maybe a 1 or 2 bar "breakdown" with the original vocal sample, i dunno. something to carry it over. and now i'm repeating myself. lol
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