29 years ago, a load was blown. And not just any load either. This load contained all the bits and pieces to create some Peruvian dude called Renzo. It came from Renzo's dad. You sick fucks, are you thinking about Renzo's dad blowing his load? I bet you are. I fucking am. What's wrong with you people?

Anyway. The early details of Renzo's life are quite inconsequential. His parents, simple lettuce and blood farmers from the hills, schooled Renzo in the family business. It soon became clear though, despite an aptitude for lettuce and blood growing, that his sights were set elsewhere. Eventually, this dream lead him to the United States, where he went on to invent many things. Awesome things. Terrible things. Automated things, that would scratch your balls while you slept.

It didn't take him long to find his niche though. Clown porn. It's the silly long shoes, you see. They make him rock hard. And he was already skilled in wearing make-up. Still is to this day. Some people might consider that gay. For a man to wear make-up. Nearly everyone thinks that, actually. What the fuck Renzo, what the fuck. Does the lipstick remind you of a dog's penis? It does, doesn't it? I wonder if Loreal or Maybeline have a colour called red rocket?

Jesus man, get a grip on yourself. You can't keep thinking about stuff like that. It's wrong, ok? It's your birthday

Have a good one mate

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