So, on Saturday I invited a friend/acquaintance over so we could DJ and hang out. Now, I just spin for fun and am not very good or anything, and I would never tell anyone different. My buddy, however, seems to think he’s simply fantastic! Strange. I mention that I want to spend some time over the summer practicing and that I have a lot to learn. He responds, “I don’t have anything to learn.”

Strange thing to hear a DJ say that. It is kind of an arrogant claim to make, even for the biggest superstar. Not wanting to be rude, I kind of ignore the comment. You see, he thinks that because he knows all the latest tracks, and that he gets promos and things before us mere mortals, that he is somehow king shit.

But what about the actual DJing? Buddy has a MacBook Pro running Traktor. That’s it. No controller, no interface, nothing. He’s keyboard and mousing it. Fine, we’ve all been there when we had no money for gear. He does not, however, have any concept of how to mix together two tracks. How is this possible? Well, apparently, he just lets Traktor do all the work. Fine, if you’re Ritchie Hawtin, then great. But if you literally are just too lazy to figure out how to mix, then what the fuck? When I suggest we play back to back (I have CDJs), he looks at me blankly like I’ve suggested we both jump off a bridge.

I try mixing into a couple tracks he’s playing. When I suggest that he mix into what I’m playing, he sits there for 5 minutes fiddling with the pitch (only after I suggest it) to no avail. I have never used Traktor before, but it’s pretty self explanatory if you’re at all familiar with dj basics. I ask him if I can take a stab at it, and mix in the track he’s been struggling with after a quick cue up and beatmatch. No sweat. He seems to think I’m crazy though. He says that having the computer gives him “so much time to run effects”. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He refuses to mix into anything I play for the rest of the night.

My estimation of him goes down. To zero.

I don’t think I’m crazy in thinking that all dj’s should have a baseline knowledge of music theory and technique… shouldn’t you understand how beatmatching and cue-ing work?

PS. I'm not railing against laptop djs by any means - i respect it when it actually adds something to the performance. I just don't respect if you're too lazy to figure out how to mix!