http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdes...22411_sheen.mp3


Charlie Sheen just launched a nuclear attack on live radio ... slamming "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre -- calling him a turd -- and went on to call Thomas Jefferson a "p***y."



Sheen unloaded while calling in to "The Alex Jones Show" and claimed he is 100% clean, saying, "Here's your first pee test, next one goes in your mouth. No, you won't get high."

During his rant Sheen compared himself to the Marlon Brando character in "Apocalypse Now" -- and hit just about everything and everyone:

-- He calls Lorre "a turd" and "a clown" and says his real name is "Hymie Levine."

-- Referring to his rehab stint, Sheen claims to have embarrassed Lorre "in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process."

-- On Alcoholics Anonymous ... Sheen says it's a "bootleg cult" with a success rate of only 5%, while his is 100% and added, "Newsflash .. I am special and I will never be one of you."

-- After one rant the host, Alex Jones, tells Charlie he sounds like Thomas Jefferson. Charlie's response, "I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p***y! But I dare anyone to debate me on things."

-- On his drug and alcohol issues, "I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it ... with my mind."

Yesterday Charlie flew to an island near the Bahamas with ex-wife Brooke Mueller, Bree Olson, and Natalie Kenly. In the the interview Charlie says Brooke has bailed out ... saying, "Where there were 4 there are now 3. Goodbye Brooke. Good luck in your travels, you're going to need it. Badly."

There's more ... much more -- including sometime incomprehensible riffs about trolls, tattoos, F-18 fighter pilots, and Vatican assassins.

For what it's worth ... Charlie also said he's ready to get back to work

There's no fucking way that he's not on some sort of substance during this.

I know he is a total fuck up but I can't help liking the guy. One day he will burn all bridges though.

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But the subsequent collision of fools...
Well versed in the subtle art of slavery.

If he keeps this shit up, it's going to ruin Hot Shots for me.

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quote:

Originally posted by Ygrene If he keeps this shit up, it's going to ruin Hot Shots for me.

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But the subsequent collision of fools...
Well versed in the subtle art of slavery.

After what, 7 or 8 seasons of doing Two and a half men, its good to see charlie finally doing something that actually makes people laugh. Seriously this breakdown...its his best comedy work since Hot Shots.

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Poor Ducky...
...Pretty in Pink

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But the subsequent collision of fools...
Well versed in the subtle art of slavery.

Last edited by Desiderata on Feb-24-2011 at 22:29

The thing about AA's (rather underwhelming) success rate is actually true.

Well i woudnt trust any program that tells you that you are powerless and that you have to let yourself go to a higher power.


Also hes taking THIS to the bahamas...nice. Thogh i think the porn star that was with him in the hotel room was hotter.

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But the subsequent collision of fools...
Well versed in the subtle art of slavery.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles The thing about AA's (rather underwhelming) success rate is actually true.

There are a lot of reasons for that.

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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012