A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled
out of bed after making love for the first time ever, stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes,and accidentally let out a loud fart. She looked up, very embarrassed... her eyes wide, and
exclaimed:
"So sorry,honorable husband... Excuse please! Front
hole so happy back hole laugh out loud!"





While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10
mph over) I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on
top of a bridge.The cop pulled me over, walked up to
the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?" I replied,
"I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop said "What?? A rectum stretcher? What does
a rectum stretcher do?"

I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my
way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my
whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in
there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6
foot wide."

The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6
foot asshole?"
I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park
him on top of a bridge..."

The ticket - - $ 95.00

The look on his face - - PRICELESS