Chapter 1

In 1999 my parents moved to Ibiza so I had to go to a new college there. It was teh first day and I wus quite anxious bout going there. When I went to da classroom most people where already their and looked at me suspectingly.
"Hi!", I said shyly. There was only one vacant seat in class, so I took it. Next to me was seatting this bald guy. I smiled an he smiled back.
Then class began. It was geography and thought by our school principal, Mr. Delroy, whom we all called Swamper. He was just talking bout swamps in Canada when something hard hit the back of my head.
I turned around and there was this freak grinning at me. He had thrown some piece of chaulk. "Fuck U!", I said and turnd round again.
"Don't bother with him", said the bald guy next to me. "That's Jay. He's something like the school bully. He and his friend Eric."
"OK, thanks", I replied. "I'm Mike by the Way"
"Stu", he said. "But my friends call me Sushi."
"Oh, cos u like Sushi?", I asked.
He nodded. "Hey, I'm meeting with sum friends tonght at teh big clob. You wanna come?"
"Sure! What type of music do they play there?"
"Trance", he said, "Paul Oakenfold is spinnin tonight."
"OMFG", I said, "I love Oakee!"
"Hey, stop talking back there! Or I'll suspend you!", shouted Swamper. We both looked embarrased.
"OK, see you later" I said smiling.

Chapter 2

I was really excited that knight to go to da club. I met with Sushi at 8 pm and he had bough two f his friends.
"Hai guise", I said.
"Hey. So this is Fledz and Paul."
"Paul Kramer-Cramer actually", he said. "People call me PKC".
"Nice to meet y'all", I said.
So we went in and some really cool Trance was playing. "Whats this track?" I asked.
"Don't give a fuck", said Fledz.
"Hey, no reason to be abrasive man."
"No no", he said. "Its called Don't give a fuck by Stonefaze and Terminal."
"Oh, I said". Then we raved. We had a really great time and after a while I noticed dis hot girl standing next to me on the dancefloor. She had long blonde hair and very sexy lips and was dancing all sexily and groovily to the music. Oaki was spinning Paul van Dykes Forbidden Fruit at that moment. She glanced slyly at me and I smiled back. We danced through teh song next to each other wthout saying anything, yet it was as if we exchanged a thousand words.
I finally said: "Hi, I'm Mike".
"Jamie", she said.
"My pleasure, Jamie. I was wondering if you..."
But she put a finger on my mouth and made "shhhh". I felt a little spark when she toched my face. "Don't talk, just dance", she said.
We danced for hours and hours and had a good time. And she had a few drinks too.
"Hey," I said, "My roommate's not home, and, well, I was wondering if you wanna, you know...
Come to my place? I just don't wanna, I just don't wanna be alone."
But then a hand grabbed me by the shoulder. "Hey asshole, what are you doing with my girlfriend?"
It was Jay.

Alberto Falk predicted this....

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Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate

LMAO @ Paul Kramer-Cramer.

Interesting

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>>> Beatport Stuff <<<

Fully lol'd at Paul Kramer-Cramer. Keep writing, this should be epic!!!

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Chapter 3

Jay grabbed me. "When I'm done with you you'll be more fucked up than a concentration camp victim", he growled. His hot, smelly breath hit my face, the furious rhythm of his panting forming a menacing bootleg with Armin's Control Freak, which was playing now.
He punched me in the groin and I screamed in pain. I had a look around, but Stu wasn't there to help me, he had apparantly gone to chase some birds.
Just when Jay was about to hit me again a huge security guard jumped between us. "Yeh, tahw eht kcuf era uoy gniod?" He separated us, but Jay didn't want to leave it and tried to jump at me again. But the guard was faster and throatpunched him right into the face.
"I reven tnaw ot ees uoy ni ym bulc niaga. Er'uoy dennab morf ereh!"
"Banned? Well, fuck you and your stupid club. I hate Trance anyway. And you..." He pointed at me. "I'll see you in school." Then he left.
"Thank you, good sir", I said to the guard. He nodded and then started to breakdance.
The next day I couldn't concentrate in class because I kept thinking about Jamie. We had English with Mr. Lira, and that didn't help at all, cause it was the most boringest class. While he was ranting about Orwell's 1984 I dreamily drew picture of Jamie on a jet ski in my book. Then Stu bumped my elbow and gave me a folded slip of paper. It read:

Mike,
it was a very special night yesterday and I enjoyed you're company a lot. You're dancing was very sexy and turned me really on. I feel we have something special going on between us. Too bad we couldn't spend much time together... maybe you wanna meet me after school?

There was a pink heart drawn below. Stu gave me a curious glance.
"From Jamie", I said.
He looked at me, puzzled. "Err, no", he said. "It's from me."

I KNEW IT!!!

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couchtater?

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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Chapter 4

ARGLE CHMARGLE CHMOCK HOCK ARGL ARRGL ARGGLE...


The sound of Karim's cock pounding Jay's throat was unmistakeable. Saliva dripping out of his tooth-decaying mouth and vile smell of rotting golem teeth only turned Karim on. It's like it was giving him... NRG2NFNITY!!!! AND BEYOND!!!

With Nazi propaganda songs circa WWII, mashed up with Marilyn Manson and Kenny G to pounding Guetta beat blasting in the background, the orgy was in full effect.

George Wiley and Cyrus King were mutually mastrubating in the corner, while Rusty "rusty trombone" Ass was filming it on his Betamax video camcorder. He had a semi-raging one but was still not high enough on meth to quite join the party. Just kept saying "this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen..."

Suddenly, a closet door busted loose and everyone saw a panting and sweating Mel Gibson grinding on Ahmadinejad's junk.

Ugh Ugh Ugh Mel kept saying...
Allah IS Akbar! He exclaimed as his sad manjizz shot across Ahmadi's scrawny chest and smacked Jay straight in his eye.


Jay woke up covered in cold sweat and hot semen with a big smile on his face. "Yes, today will be a good day" he thought, as Black Peas "Got a feelin" blared loudly from an alarm clock and out the window... He stretched his needle hole-covered frail arms in his freshly painted fridge box and shreds of dirty brownish toilet paper flew like butterflies out of the dumpster he slept next to. "Yes it will be", he said.

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Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate