Ok, this was not made by me, but I just had to post it... cuz im still laughing from it

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The Fast and the Furious is full of shit. It makes your average gino look like a
super-hero, which is straight bullshit. They should make a more
realistic Fast and Furious part 2. Let me set up the scenario:


It's Friday night in a Tim Hortons parking lot with 18 ginos crowded
around 2 civics talking about how they almost stabbed someone at the
club they were just at.
All of a sudden another crew pulls into the parking lot with their
civics pumping Euro Heaven. The first crew of ginos tense up as they
see the next crew park their civics to lounge around as well.

The crews spot each other.

Hard looks are exchanged. Finally a gino from the first crew decides
to go into the Tim Hortons with his girlfriend so she can buy him a
sandwich and juice. As the gino and his girlfriend go towards the
Tim Hortons they walk past the other crew of ginos. Street heat is
generated. All of a sudden

"Hey what are you looking at?"
" What ?"
"Yo what are you fucking looking at?"
"Bro you wanna start something?"
"Oh my god, bro, you are not talking to me"
"Get out of my face before I give you the zaps"

... All of a sudden the first crew notice their friend is in
trouble. They speed over. Everyone rushes in and talks about
stabbing each other but no one actually fights. Then...

"Yo I say we line it up"
"You wanna line it up with me?"
"What you afraid?"
"Bro I'll smoke you. My civic has dual turbo exhaust trans cam
shafts."
"Bro, mine has a super charged rear front differential boost system"

They continue to brag about how they each spent over 10,000 dollars
souping up their rides even though they both work for minimum wage
doing retail in the local mall. Finally they line it up. Engines
rev, and the ginos' 14 year old girlfriends wish them luck. They
speed off blazing down the abandoned suburban road circa 3:00am on a Friday
night.

Both ginos are really scared because although they talk like they
race a lot, neither of them has really ever lined it up before.
As he speeds down the road the first gino thinks to himself "what
would the guy from the Fast and the Furious do if he were me?"
He then remembers a scene from the movie and goes to push the nitro
button hidden on his steering wheel. He however is disappointed to
discover there is no nitro button on his steering wheel because
stupid shit like that only exists in hollywood movies that try and
glorify ginos.
He then hears on the radio that Cameroon has beaten Italy in world
cup qualifying. He starts to panic. His world is crumbling around
him. Suddenly he spins off the road and crashes into a lamppost then
rebounds right into the front glass of the local blockbuster where
his best friend works.
He is still alive but his car is on fire. He knows he only has
moments to escape before the car explodes. He goes for the door but
is shocked to discover he can't make it because his super big loop
earring is hooked on a piece of the front seat, trapping him in the
car. He sees his friend in the blockbuster and cries out

"Lorenzo, please help me! Oh my god!"

BOOOOOOOM. Too late. the explosion takes place levelling the entire
complex.

Further down the street the other gino is still speeding away
because his windows are so tinted he can't see the other car has
already crashed and is out of the race.
As he drives he imagines Limp Bizkit's "my way" playing in the back
of his head. All of a sudden he remembers that he has that CD cause
he made his girlfriend buy it for him. He goes into his CD
compartment, grabs the disc and puts it in to play. Everything is
cool. Or so he thinks...
He has forgotten that he had his stereo set on super bass. All of a
sudden the bass from his souped up system shakes the car so badly it
causes engine failure. His car crashes into the local prison.
Crawling out from the wreck, he is dismayed to find himself inside
an innmates cell.
The prisoner stares at the gino. The long streaked hair, baby smooth
face and shiny loop earrings lead the prisoner to believe that the
gino is actually a woman and he rushes the poor gino. He easily
tears away the ginos Kappa button up joggers and has at him. The
prisoner handles the gino in a style that is both fast and furious.
Later the gino is naked and wandering the streets, sore and ashamed.
He uses his white Nike headband hanging around his neck to wipe the
tears from his eye. The night truly has been Fast and Furious...

The End

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