Before feedback:



After feedback:




So, basically, I tried to take everyone's feedback into consideration with the second version of this song. I probably haven't satisfied anyone but I am happy with the end result. If I do go back to it, it will probably be well after I'm done with another tune or more. Any feedback from this will be taken as a critique of what I need to work on, rolling forward.


EDIT: I actually did touch it up a little. Can't keep my ego out of it and, by extension, my hands off of it.


Again, feel free to brutalize.

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my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

Last edited by EddieZilker on Mar-29-2012 at 02:13

quote:

Originally posted by pozz and are you writing this in soundforge? cuz the elements drift in and our of sync at times, especially the claps.

No. This was all done in Reason 6. Kind of experimenting with the the swing/groove feature and may have gotten a little carried away but then I like a lot of what you're complaining about. The kick and the second choir swell feedback ring the most true. The cadence might need a little work, too, but not as much as the kick's EQ'ing. I was concerned with all of the above so you mentioning them confirms that. I deliberately held back on the hi-hats but can see pushing those up a little and will definitely trim some of the delay I've got going (anything in particular I should be concerned with or just overall?).

I, personally, like some of the drifty, dirty kind of feel and it's something I was going for. The bass-line might need to be toned down in terms of its spectrum but transposing is probably not going to happen. A lot of your complaints have to do with me deliberately drawing outside the lines. Still, I'm not discounting your taste or perception. Kudos for being brutal, along with that flair on its being "messy as fuck." Thank you, very much. Definitely glad you liked what you liked, too. I hope you'll comment on the revision (feel free to be just as brutal, though.)

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my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

The two bass lines are clashing in the beginning(~1ish)

You are stuffing the shit out of your mix with delayed sounds and really long sounds.

4 minute: the flute is getting swamped by the droning sound in the background

The bass dominates a lot of the lead ideas in the track.

The song is 9 minutes long and there isn't a single resemblance of a calm period in the track.

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quote:

Originally posted by dj_alfi change your avatar for fucks sake.

quote:

Originally posted by Beatflux The song is 9 minutes long and there isn't a single resemblance of a calm period in the track.

I know. I've broken one of the cardinal rules - it has to have a break. Seriously, the energy is meant to build to manic by the middle but dissipate afterwards - not completely calm but a sort of resolution. I'm trying to veer away from simple, linear attack-and-release structure with this. Your other comments are (also) relevant, bluntly delivered criticism - with just a hint of casual sadism - and will be addressed.

Thank you, very much.

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my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

I do think I need to take the delays down a notch or two, so point taken on that.

quote:

Originally posted by pozz maybe this would derail your thoughts, so maybe you shouldn't listen, but i think this is similar (although lacking melody):

That's almost too neat for what I'm going for. This sounds like a strict quantization with some offset on the delay so it feels a little "out of sync" but I think I hear what you're getting at. I've actually been listening to a lot of different material when I'm producing, lately, so no worries on the distraction, either.

I've got something to say on the "randomness" aspects of your observation but words elude the precision I'd like to achieve, right now. The short version is that there is a precise intent with what I'm going for and that I've actually tried to avoid throwing elements in random places because of some notion that it would constitute some sort of "humanization." For example, one of the things I've been doing in Reason is to take a drum pattern that's quantized and split it into two separate tracks which have different groove settings - almost to achieve a push-pull effect. Still, I don't want it to be chaos and I want it to be a little more discrete than what your feedback is telling me I've accomplished.

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my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

I can't offer much apart from whats been raised already, my main gripes are the lows particularly some of the kicks sounding pretty wooly. I haven't got a problem with the delays, I actually like the ideas within this track a lot, the long drawn out sounds and the really loose, almost random kicks and grooves, also the fact that you're making original sounding music.

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No. This was all done in Reason 6. Kind of experimenting with the the swing/groove feature and may have gotten a little carried away but then I like a lot of what you're complaining about.

quote:

Originally posted by Teezdalien I can't offer much apart from whats been raised already, my main gripes are the lows particularly some of the kicks sounding pretty wooly.

By wooly, do you mean that they sounds muddy (or harsh or overbearing or et al)?

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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

quote:

Originally posted by EddieZilker By wooly, do you mean that they sounds muddy (or harsh or overbearing or et al)?

A bit muddy I think, they're very apparent although I wouldn't say overbearing, but seem to lack some clarity and are a bit soft around the edges, a bit like my response I guess.

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quote:

Originally posted by Teezdalien A bit muddy I think, they're very apparent although I wouldn't say overbearing, but seem to lack some clarity and are a bit soft around the edges, a bit like my response I guess.

Thanks, man. Appreciate the feedback.

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Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012

i enjoy this one because it violates my rhythmic instincts every time i start to get comfortable haha. Its a cool project. a lot of the criticisms are very subjective. such as the delays and kick drum. For some, like me, theyre enjoyable

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Imo you should/could use better the height area of the mix. An abandoned space waiting to be engaged. Depth is missing as well. Too many elements on the same height.

Also, delays could be organized better. Again, that space could be used for the echoes. Noticed delays are static.

Make them breath over the entire spectrum.

The melodic content as well...too centered. That flute sounds thin.


I like the concept of the kick, but don't like its character. Imo a different one would be better. A rock type kick, with that typical tight punch, would fit greatly from my point of view.
This is one appears muffed and not centered also.

To be honest I really like your sound selection, except for the kick.

Sound selection is great, but it needs to be better organized.

And maybe give some more power to the bassline.

Overall the mix is not problematic. Needs just a better placement + kick change to make this piece shine.

edit: btw, my compliments for the clap