Penis v. Management
I, the Penis hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:-
* I do physical labour
* I work at great depths
* I plunge headfirst into everything I do
* I do not get weekends off, nor public holidays
* I work in a damp environment
* I do not get paid overtime
* I work in dark, poorly ventilated conditions
* I work in high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases
MANAGEMENT RESPONSE:
Dear Penis,
After considering your request and assessing the arguments raised, the
administration rejects your request for the following reasons:-
* You do not work 8 hrs straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team
* You do not stay in your allocated position and often stray into other areas
* You do not take initiative and have to be pressured and stimulated to start working
* You leave the worksite rather messy at the end of your shift
* You often fail to observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
* You will retire well before reaching 65
* You are unable to work double shifts
* You sometimes leave your allocated position before completing the job
* And as if that were not all, you have been observed entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
|
