I got an email with a bunch of potentially offensive jokes so I thought I'd post em here


What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 kilos.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why are men and parking spaces alike?
Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.

What have men and floor tiles got in common?
If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for
life.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and
good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year,
the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same
urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade. Who has the
biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your Mom.

How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A Bingo Machine.

Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex too.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you
sure it's mine?"

What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is It In?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do You
have? Divorce proceedings most likely.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Tasmania?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby? They
named him Sum Ting Wong.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other? A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at a US Post Office is flying at half
mast? They're hiring.

What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men miss
them all.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Why aren't there any Aboriginals on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

What do you call a New Zealand farmer with a sheep under each arm? A
Pimp.

What's the difference between a Japanese zoo, and an Australian zoo? A
Japanese zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage,
Along with a recipe.

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"my son will be a gienues(sp?)" - Originally posted by Googooly
"many species of bear give blowjobs." - Originally posted by Sunsnail.. NOW CONFIRMED BY PHOTO EVIDENCE!
"astroboy is brave and gentle and wise." - Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
"ew! i wouldn't go anywhere near a homeless dudes butthole... not even if i was sodomizing him with a poison ivy cactus dildo" - Originally posted by lücid
"also can someone post the link to my mom's forum, thank you!" - Originally posted by miamitrance04
"dude man its not me its what the world does to me. Trust me I'm a normal person people just constantly fuck with me." Originally posted by ********
"I can see Lira getting a hard-on already. And believe me, Brazilian ass rape is the worst." - Originally posted by Meat187