Question:
How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Answer:
Three-his left ear, his right ear and his wild front ear.

Did you hear about the man who fell into the machine at the upholstery shop?
He's completely recovered now.

A grasshopper goes into a bar and sits on a bar stool. The bartender, flabbergasted, says, "Hey! Did you know there's drink named after you!?"
The grasshopper looks at him, "What? Harold?"

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"...End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path...one that we all must take.
The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass...and then you see it...
...white shores...and beyond...the far green country under a swift sunrise."