I know this topic might seem odd but hey I gotta let all this out somewhere..all opinions/comments are welcome (please..be serious though..thanks)

this is probably my toughest decision that I will have to make in my life (yeah, life is a biatch)..

ok here we go..

I just met a girl (for 3 months now) who I think is really worth getting to know and date because I feel like she’s the right one. The one that would give me a long lasting relationship that im searching for. Everytime I’m around her everything feel right. I can talk to her nonstop (only her though) not with other girls. She’s everything I look for in a girl. Sweet, good personality, pretty, just everything about her. She’s just different from the rest of the girls that I’ve met before. Well just a month ago I told her how I feel for her. She told me that she only see me as a friend but didn’t say that she didn’t like me. She told me to give us time and get to know each other because she’s not ready to have a boyfriend because of her busy schedule. I accepted her answer even though I was very down that she said no. So anyways, I tried to forget what I told her and just try to get to know her and try not to think of us more than anything but friends.

Then last Sunday I asked her out for a movie (I knew that it would only be a friendly date thingy majingy, I didn’t expect more outta it). While watching the movie I really wanted to her hold her hands (I mean come on..I don’t wanna be sitting 2 hours just watching a movie with her. NO I aint a perve. Im very serious) but I didn’t have the guts because she said that she’s not ready for a relationship with me. I considered that so I didn’t make any move because I respect her and I didn’t want to make a wrong move that would end up messing everything up. Then while half way through the movie I noticed that she wanted me to hold her hands or at least I had that feelings. It was like my 6th sense or something. I wasn’t sure if that was the message she was sending but hell I got the message. I didn’t want to blow any chance off so I slowly pull her left hand over to my side of the chair and just held it. She didn’t do anything so I guesed she was cool with it. I mean if she wasn’t cool with that she would have pulled her hand back and told me that she was feeling uncomfortable. So then I held her hand for the whole movie. I was like damn this is the greatest feeling in the world.

So after the movie I was thinking that she was ready to accept me. We walked around the mall for a while after the movie. It wasn’t indoor and the night was cold so I put my jacket on for her. I really wanted to put my hands over her shoulder holding her tight but I thought really hard and I didn’t do it because I thought holding her hand during the movie was very damn good enough for me and I didn’t want to to go too far and ruin everything. So we just walked around for a while then I drove her home. That was the best night of my life! And it is. I didn’t expect the date to go that well. It was amazing.

Ok moving on…
There were several reasons why I didn’t wanna make any more move after the movie. One because she told me she wasn’t ready to have a boyfriend. Two, I got the news from my dad from Texas that we might be moving to Texas soon. I thought that he was just joking and didn’t take it seriously. The next day my mom told me that we will definitely be moving to Texas (time not specified though). I felt really down and Im still feeling down. I mean how fucked up can life be? Just when Im starting to get to know this special girl that’s worth everything for and just when I thought my life is doing fine I get the fucking bad news that we would have to move. Life’s a bitch alright! Hell I lived half of my life in California all my friends are here and the “someone/somebody” girl for me is here in cali. Hell, I don’t wanna move to texas! I hate my life.

I was about to ask her to go out sometime again because the movie date turned out perfect but I didn’t because I know that I would have to be moving soon and even if she’s ready to accept me in a relationship it would be hella unfair for her. What am I supose to tell her ? Hey, I would have to be moving to texas soon? Fuck that. I can’t accept that. It took me 19 (almost 20 years) to find a girl like her. I don’t wanna blow my chance. It would be unfair for her and sad for me. Man I need some sort of miracle right now.

Ok Im planning to go agaisnt my parents and not move to Texas. I didn’t tell them yet though but Im planning to tell them soon even though I know my dad will be fucking pissed off at me for that reason. He’s strict! I can’t stand him most of the time but I didn’t tell him that. Whatever I tell him he wont believe me and he’l lthink that im one horrible child. And he’ll be even more strict if I he knew I wanted to stay here just for a girl. But she’s not just any girl. She’s something different..

3 major reasons why I wanna stay here:
1.70%the girl (I mean if I had one chance I don’t wanna blow it.. not with this girl)
2.10%i cant stand my dad’s strictness (cant stand his strictness 90% of the time). I really wanna tell him all this (which I will soon) ..damn life…
3.20%friends/used to california.

But I don’t care, whatever he’ll tell me I will be staying here. I know Itll be tough for me because Im only 19 and we don’t have any relative over here in california. But I really wanted to see life for myself. I want to make my own mistakes and learn from it. I know it’ll be one long bumpy road without my parents but I really wanna see for myself. This is only the simple detail (I mean there’s so muchmore that im excluding because its too damn long to type and too damn complicated to explain)

So what do you TAs think? Did I make the right decision by choosing to stay here. Do you think I’m stupid? I mean for a girl you asked? But like I said, I prolly will never find someone like her for a long ass time.

There’s so much more I wanna type. I know this doesn’t make too much sense because you are not me.. you are not going through what im going through. But I really want your experty opinions.. sorry for the long ass thread

___________________
people dont judge you coz u aint black
they judge you coz u aint rap (haha)
thas alota smacks u told and thats that
in the streets they nicknamed you fag
little wanna be mc that cant seem to see that you can never be who u think u gon be..see that? guess not? coz u dont fuckin rap!!