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My Grandma's Cat.
So last night at 12am I get a call from my grandma who is hysterically crying because her cat got out & its extremly cold outside. Its like below zero farenhieght here in Chicago now. My grandma is 84 & too old to go out in below zero tempetures to look for her cat in the middle of the night. Well I race over there to here house & start following the tracks from the cat through a little snow & dirt. I was looking for that cat for a long time & i was freezing my ass off. Well finally I decide to check by the lake a couple blocks from her home. Well there you go I finally found the Cat. But it was frozen stiff in the ice. I pry the cat out & ran back to my grandmas house carrying this frozen stiff lifeless cat. Right when I bring the cat inside my grandma gets upset but refuses to believe that the cats dead. She keeps on saying "i know he's alive, i know he's alive". Funny thing is that I thought I felt a weak pulse on the frozen stiff animal. Well my gram's is on the phone with the Vet, & the Vet is saying that possibly the cat is in some sort of shock & putting sniffing salts on the Cats nose my wake the Cat up. Well my grandma has no sniffing salts, so that was outa the question. Then the Vet suggested putting some gasoline on the cats nose instead of sniffing salts. So I went into the garage & soaked a rag with gasoline. I bring the gas soaked rag into the house & rubbed it against the frozen stiff cats nose. POW. All of a sudden the cat starts running everywhere around the house like crazy. Ive never seen a cat run & move & jump like this before. This went on for a couple minutes & we couldnt catch the cat & get him to calm down. Finally right when I thought I caught the cat it just Stopped.
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damn punch lines should be made illegal!!
