Not the movie. Which is fucking awesome btw. God I love that movie.

I mentioned in the best man speech thread that my brother has gone through a weird divorce, and I need to share this with TA. So my brother and his (ex? we don't know if it's official yet) wife have a 5 year old child together, and some time within the last couple of years, she has cheated on him with one of her coworkers. Apparently someone never told her to not shit where you eat. Typically in this instance, you lawyer up, hit the gym, delete Facebook, and move on with your life or whatever, and since you have a child together you will continue to see her for at least the next X number of years until they are 18. In this case, my brother has chosen to have somewhat of a joint-life with his ex-wife, her new boyfriend, and his new girlfriend included. (Edit: important to note that he has moved out of the house and lives in a little apartment now)

My brother and his ex-wife's new boyfriend frequently train on bikes together, going out for long rides and preparing for triathlons. His ex-wife knows his new girlfriend very well, and have spent lots of time together hanging out and drinking and talking. All 4 of them are planning on going on vacation together soon with their seemingly shared son.

My current theory is that they are all swingers. All the evidence points to it. Are they simply just oddly friendly with each other, shattering the norm for new age parenting? Or are they swapping partners back and forth, Eiffel Tower-ing and such? I can understand being friendly and cooperative with your ex-wife and her new boyfriend "hey what's up, how you doing, hey that's good dude glad to hear it. hope you're well, ex-wife. come on son let's go" and so forth, but not hanging out all the time and going on vacation together.

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JFC your brother sounds like a goddamn bitch. I would not normally say this, but he sure could use the red pill.



edit: you're money, baby!

My innocent take on life believes the kid, rather than steamy foursomes, is what's bringing them together. Maybe they're trying to keep in amicable terms for the little kid's sake...

... Although I also trust instincts. If you think he's being raised by mummy and daddy and mummy and daddy, then it's likely both the kid and melting hot quattro form orgies are bringing them together.

And I'm hungry now. I really like quattro formaggi. But, I digress.

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quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson JFC your brother sounds like a goddamn bitch. I would not normally say this, but he sure could use the red pill.

What's weird about this is that he was totally a red-piller in college. He used to tell me that the secret to getting pussy was to treat women like objects and ignore them and they will be obsessed with you and want to fuck you. I never took his advice because I wasn't a very convincing asshole.

quote:

edit: you're money, baby!

You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs! And big fucking teeth! And you don't know how to kill the bunny!

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Hard to judge without knowing the characters of those involved. Your brother could either be a pussy or he could be taking it remarkably well. The odds of all four of them being swingers and being cool with this bizarre situation seem very low. But again, I don't know the people.

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Honestly he has let his ex-wife basically dictate what happens in this child's life (and his own life in many cases), doing anything from cutting off contact with family members due to disagreements or sending the child to a private Catholic school even though he doesn't make that much money. He just stays out of it and agrees with whatever she wants because he doesn't want an argument.

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quote:

Originally posted by ziptnf Honestly he has let his ex-wife basically dictate what happens in this child's life (and his own life in many cases), doing anything from cutting off contact with family members due to disagreements or sending the child to a private Catholic school even though he doesn't make that much money. He just stays out of it and agrees with whatever she wants because he doesn't want an argument.

Then I stress what I said earlier. He's probably trying to work on a smooth transition for the kid's sake. Not sure Catholic schools there are anything like their Brazilian counterparts, but swingers wouldn't send their children to such a conservative place, would they? This would only mess up their heads when they grew up and found out.

I mean, it's got to be a really tough place to find yourself in, and he's probably trying not to lash out at her and end up scarring the kid emotionally because of the ex-wife apparent immaturity.

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I hope that's the case, Lira, but why would he go the extra mile? Training with her new boyfriend, dating an ex-wife-approved new girlfriend, planning vacations with the 4 of them? I understand doing everything you can to soften the pain of divorce, but perhaps they are softening it a bit too much. It's just quite strange that there doesn't seem to be much pain or regret here, that they are all still so involved with each other's lives.

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What's your brother like generally? What was he like prior to the divorce?

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Mixes:
> Maximum Elevation [Progressive House]
> DI.FM 26th Anniversary Guest Mix [Progressive House]
> Live @ Dance:Love:Hub London, 11.10.2025
> Higher Peaks [Progressive House]
> Dance:Love:Hub Afterparty (The Return) 23.11.24

Like these sets? Come see me play live at Kibosh in Manchester: https://www.instagram.com/kibosh.mcr/

quote:

Originally posted by Lira Not sure Catholic schools there are anything like their Brazilian counterparts, but swingers wouldn't send their children to such a conservative place, would they? This would only mess up their heads when they grew up and found out.

Also relevant: his ex-wife hated "cheaters" so much that she suggested that men who cheat on their wives be castrated to teach them a lesson. Such a conservative Catholic wouldn't dare cheat on her husband would they?

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quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J What's your brother like generally? What was he like prior to the divorce?

Funny guy, laughs a lot, can be kind of a smartass, has a voracious appetite for reading (biographies, history, fiction, anything he can get his hands on), loves swimming (was an All-American swimmer in college), and loves his son. I don't know what kind of personalities swingers have, I mean, they are people too right?

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Yeah I dunno. Sure, in an ideal world everyone would be able to move on in such a healthy, positive manner; but the majority of people just don't. After relationships break down, realistically it takes time and space to process things and heal, and to develop boundaries again - especially if the split couple is to maintain some kind of functioning relationship for the sake of a kid.

I don't doubt it can work that way, I've seen it with two good friends of mine...but their situation is not nearly this extreme. So yeah.