Registered: Sep 2002
Location: South Central, L.A.
Im in a Very Tough situation..Please help me
well this is hard to say, and i dont know why i am tellin it, but i need to get it off my chest.
My grandpa has had 2 heart attacks in the last few weeks...and did major damage to his heart.
my dad comes downstairs crying and says that my uncle called and said he is really sick, and he refuses to go the hospital. and said he wont die in the hospital but will die in his own bed.
So me and dad are going to his house in a few days and going to be with him during his last days and sort of make sure he goes out the way he wants.
Ive had relatives die, but ive never actually been there when it has happened..and i have feeling its going to be a very tough week.
I dont want to go and do this...but i dont know what to say to my parents.
fuck why does life have to be so fuckin painful
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Nov-05-2002 08:24
Mr.Mystery
Static Guru
Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Vantaa
Ouch... sorry to hear that... but I know exactly how you feel.
Both of my grandads had a slow and painful death, they both had cancer. (Okay, the other one died a month after I was born, but anyway).
There's nothing really I can say or do to make you feel better... I just want you to know that I really feel for you.
Sorry to hear that If you don't want to be there, tell them - they should respect your way of feeling hurt. Obviously, don't say anything like "No, I'm not going", but ask them nicely... it must be hard for them too, so it's always nice to be careful with the words you choose
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Nov-05-2002 12:31
Haai Henk
tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Limburg
That's really shitty for you
I think they should respect your opinion if you don't want to go, but I should do some serious thinking before not going.
I must be very though for your grandfather too if you're not there, and maybe you will blame yourself later for not going...
Yea, it will be tough, but just stick through it. Look at it this way: you could not go, and feel shitty for a long time that you werent there for him. I would know, my grandpa died in a car acciedent about a month ago. I was never really that close to him because we lived far apart, but when I heard he died I felt really bad for not spending as much time with him as I could have.
Just cherish the last moments you have with each other.
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Nov-05-2002 18:32
KilldaDJ
birth.school.trance.death
Registered: Sep 2001
Location: tranceaddict wants to know your location
respect.
my father died last sunday [27 oct.]
and i just couldnt say anything
i know exactly how u feel, it sucks, but thats life
i'll be expecting the funeral sometime this week, october is such a dark month...
Originally posted by KilldaDJ
respect.
my father died last sunday [27 oct.]
Sorry to hear that, mate... unless you don't wanna talk about, what happened?
Anyway, my sympathies
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Nov-05-2002 18:52
biznology
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Dec 2000
Location:
yeah last week was prolly the worst week in the longest time for me. sure, life isnt a bowl of cherries or any fucking thing like that, but i had a family member and a good family friend die at the same time. and because of school couldnt attend the funeral of either. pile that on with a bunch of other screwed up crap and i was bumming. you just gotta kinda know this shit happens and youre stronger for it afterwards. and remember why you loved those people, dont get angry that they are gone|
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Nov-05-2002 19:12
Haai Henk
tranceaddict
Registered: Apr 2002
Location: Limburg
quote:
Originally posted by KilldaDJ
respect.
my father died last sunday [27 oct.]
I'm very sorry for you...
You must also go to a very tough time right now, just know you can always support on us!
that's a tough situation, but i've always subcribed to the idea of the body being a temporary container. I think being there when a loved one leaves is a great honor even though it's probably the hardest thing that you will have to experience in your life. Think about how nervous your grandpa feels though. Having loved ones around will make things happier and easier for him. I also believe that once they leave, they are enternally there when you need them and watching out for you even though you may not be able to acknowledge them. The phrase "be there in spirit" comes to mind.
I dunno, this is just how i feel it happens. I dun even know what religions are like this. Plus, look on the bright side. There's probably nonstop trance over there... or at least the feeling it gives you. peace and good luck.
Nov-05-2002 19:43
Rhythm
Emotionotes
Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Indy
"Ive had relatives die, but ive never actually been there when it has happened..and i have feeling its going to be a very tough week.
I dont want to go and do this...but i dont know what to say to my parents."
Traz,
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Death is never an easy thing to face. It is a very hard thing for someone to let a loved on pass - it doesnt' happen every day, and it is one of life's greatest challenges. I would feel reluctant to go to his house as well - it would be a painful thing. I would, however, try to gather what strength I could to face the sadness and embrace the beautiful thought that your grandfather will be in a place where he will no longer be in pain - and can be with you every where you go. You will pull through - God is with you.
Last edited by Rhythm on Nov-05-2002 at 20:44
Nov-05-2002 20:05
Rhythm
Emotionotes
Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Indy
quote:
Originally posted by KilldaDJ
respect.
my father died last sunday [27 oct.]
and i just couldnt say anything
i know exactly how u feel, it sucks, but thats life
Hey man,
What a hard time it must be for you. I can't even fathom losing one of my parents. Do you have siblings? Pull close together with them, your mother and your close friends. The power of those bonds will see you through this tragedy. It is great that you and Traz both voiced your feelings - it is great to relieve yourself of them, and to let others help you to heal. If either of you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me anytime without hesitation.