Small children say funny things
Jessica was sitting on her grandad's lap as he read her a story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke, "Grandad, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she said and then "Grandad, did God make me too?"
Yes, indeed, Jessica," he answered." God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?
Our niece had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mum. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
Our five-year-old son, Sam, couldn't wait to tell his dad about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Sam to ask, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
Sam looked at his dad in disbelief and replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"
Lucy, 3, was watching her mother put on face cream. "Why are you putting that on your face, Mummy?" she asked. "It's supposed to make me beautiful," her mother said. "Well," Lucy blurted out, "they lied!"
Jack, 3, received some clothes from his grandparents for Christmas. A week later he wore one of his new shirts to nursery school. His teacher asked him if he had received a new shirt. "Yeah, Grandma gave it to me," Jack said. "I think it got too small for her!"
Our three-year old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed me there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" I asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
Josh had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, even though his mother had tried everything from bribery, to reasoning, to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh...I know what *you've* been doing!".
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he said. "Mine says I'm four."
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