Here's a funny little piece if writing on DJs and the various stereotypes they encounter while mixing,translated into english by yours truly:

BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE

by Peter Amdam

Being a DJ is anything but a piece of cake.Unless your name is Danny Tenaglia or Armin van Buuren, you can be sure that you'll be run over by complaints from well-natured but oh so frustrated clubbers during the course of events in one night.Most of the time,these complaints can be boiled down to a couple of standard phrases.Here are the most common ones:

What they say:
"Nobody's dancing!

What it means:
"I started the pre-party at six,now I'm snowblind and expect to see ppl having sex on the dancefloor,even though the time is 10:30 and the bar opened 15 minutes ago!"

What they say:
"Play some kick-ass house!"

What it means:
"My brain was MDMA-damaged five years ago,and I haven't been able to perceive music since Friday Society some time back in the 90s."

What they say:
"Can't you play some latin,salsa stuff??!"

What it means:
"I've been on holiday down south,and there I really got some action!This shall be repeated today!"

What they say:
"Could you play Kylie/Justin Timberlake/Ian van Dahl/(insert chart hit here)?Now,please!!"

What it means:
I'm kinda stupid,so I'd just like to dance to the same tune on repeat tonight.Otherwise there will be too many impressions to process."

(NOTE: DJ Hassi from Norway once let Kylie - Can't Get You Out Of My Head run on repeat for 60 minutes,and nobody reacted!!!!)

What they say:
"Can't you play something with some real rhythm in it?!"

What it means:
"I'm a complete moron,and I'd like to rub myself up against a man in a suit right now.And it's the music's fault(regardless of genre) that I'm not doing that right now!"

What they say:
"Play some real rock!!AC/DC/Metallica/(insert old and outdated rock group here)!!"

What it means:
"OK,so maybe I'm mentally underdeveloped,fair enough.But manly partying is about standing on a table and pounding your chest!Fucking homo!"

What they say:
"The girl I'm here with would like to hear this and this tune.You'll take care of that,ok buddy?"

What it means:
"I'm Don Juan and I attract girls like a magnet.Do as I tell you,and perhaps it'll drip some on you too,fool!"

What they say:
"It's fucking impossible to dance to the music you're playing!"

What it means:
"The dancefloor is so packed!How am I going to make an ass out of myself with the new breakdance/salsa/swing moves I learned at dance class now?"

What they say:
"Love your set,man!Could you play (insert politically correct,extremely new and obscure trainspotter tune here)?Would be perfect right now!"

What it means:
"I should be standing behind those turntables,not you.With some trainspotter bragging I trick you into playing the tune.Then as you empty the dancefloor with it,I'll be standing in a corner laughing my ass off!Overpaid moron."

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"Wenn du dich zum Untergrund zählst, reicht es nicht, es nur zu sagen. Du musst auch viel graben, um es zu werden."