Severe Weather Alert from the National Weather Service

The National Weather Service has issued a:

* FLASH FLOOD WARNING for Saturday Aug 30th into Sunday_ Aug 31st in Lower Manhatten. Tribeca is expected to be hit the hardest.
WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A TROPICAL STORM 112 IN AND AROUND THE TRIBECA AREA OF NEW YORK CITY.

Tropical Storm 112 will be sweeping in on the East Coast late Saturday night and flooding is expected to be heaviest around 7-8am Sunday morning._ Women wearing panties are in the highest danger because of the phenomenon known to scientist as extreme PS's (Panty Soakers)._ All women are advised to stay inside during the storm._ If you are in the warning area move to higher ground immediately!
Club Arc at 6 Hubert Street in Manhatten has been designated as a shelter for these women._ They are advised to wear extra thick panties as they are sure to be soaked. Residents living along streams and creeks should take immediate precautions to protect life and property.

The 112 Storm is classified as a PS 10 (see Panty Soaker Key at bottom)._ A storm of that level only comes around once every 4 or 5 years._ However a similar 112 Storm battered panties only 3 years ago and caused mass flooding from the Upper East Side all the way down to Philadelphia._ The National Weather Service and Scientist have been studying this particular disturbance and are labeling it "The Perfect Storm"._ Three intense storm cells are combining into one causing a certain catastrophe for panties everywhere. Those 3 cells have been named Dennis, Billy, and Tommy.

The National Weather Service warns the biggest threat from these storms are
intense beats, damaging basslines and a torrential downpour of VOCALS that are sure to soak panties instantly!

TO REPORT DAMAGED OR SOAKED PANTIES HAVE THE NEAREST LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY RELAY YOUR PANTIES TO THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE FORECAST OFFICE.

Panty Soaker Key:
1-5: Partially soaked panties, possibility of flooding____
6-10: Extreme soaking of Panties, large scale flooding, and possible lose of panties expected.

Last edited by nickac on Aug-26-2003 at 20:55