Heya,
here is a new old tune for you. Sent this to various labels but it has been rejected. Yeah I know, probably it's too overload and needs some more time on mastering. Anyway, this is maximal Goa with lots of layers, FX, little melodies, and that kind of stuff. Not really an "alteration" to my style but hopefully worth checking out. I made this tune like 5 months ago... but I'm still curious to see how you guys rate it

Length: 11:25
Filesize: ~16 MB
Bitrate: 192kbps
Equipment used: FL Studio 5, Albino, V-Station, Vanguard, Atmosphere, and some more stuff.

the link:
http://www.cybernetika.de/cybernetika_-_alteration.mp3

enjoy, and please rate this tune

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Cybernetika albums (free DL): Atropos (2009) | Nanospheric (2008) | Neural Network Expansion (2007) | Promo #1 (2006) | Paralysis (2005)

homepage: http://www.cybernetika.de

Intro synths hurt my ears a bit. There was also a tad of clipping early on. Some of the stuff there felt like it needed some better mastering. It gets alot better later on as the track gets 'fuller'.

Atmosphere was pretty good. The sounds and FX too.

I think the problem is the track just felt like one giant buildup that never really gets anywhere. It's like reading a great book that builds and builds and has this huge suspense, and then you get to the end and you go "wait.. that's it?".

I can see you were trying to use that synth at 9:00 as a kind of climax, but it just seems to come out of nowhere.

Overall I think you've got some great elements in there, but they just need to be arranged differently.

Thanks a lot Aquarian for taking a listen and for commenting

Yeah, this is a little "overload" in terms of mastering (and it already is a mastered version... there actually is a earlier version which had all levels completely over the top).
About the structure... I know what you mean... think I didnt really know how to improve it. Despite all the problems with the structure of the track, the passage @9:00 seems like a good climax to me, dont know how this tune could get even more intensity

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Cybernetika albums (free DL): Atropos (2009) | Nanospheric (2008) | Neural Network Expansion (2007) | Promo #1 (2006) | Paralysis (2005)

homepage: http://www.cybernetika.de

Nice work cybernetica. You've got quite a bit of stuff going on in this track. It has kind of a dark, uneasy feeling to me. I think you could make the kick stand out a little more. It seemed maybe a bit buried. The quality and clarity is great and top notch. Just keep at it man. I know how discouraging it is to get rejected by labels as its happened to me many times.

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Nice athmospheres and bass lines mate as usual, I gave you a 4 in your poll, good stuf, keep it uo mate .
Kopi =o.

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overall, not bad m8, i leesaned to it playing on the backround while i was working on my web page, it was pretty cool
however

1. clip at 85Hz
2. your perfect mono signal looks good but the left and right channels are not in perfect correlation.

Heya mate listening...

excellent bass/bass drum combo. The bass is phat.

1:10 nice synth.

The sound fx are a bit overwhelming at times. As already stated: the frequencies are harsh.

2:27 A very old school synth selection. What do you think about this synth? I am personally not a big fan of it.

3:50 the ambient gated pads reminds me of hallucinogen twisted era for some reason. You know I love those sorta sounds!!

5:00 comes together well... This is taking my interest now.

5:33 yerrrrr I absolutely love the pitch shift!

6:30 the break has great sounds. There is emotion eminating out of this... Inspirational.

7:19 yup, now this is starting to light my fire...

8:00 nice build up.

8:15 you lost me. I had the impression you were leading up to something big from 6:30 to 8:00, but this mono gated synth doesn't do much for me.

9:22 This cresendo has a great groove, but the frequencies are harsh & hard to handle. Maybe you could consider a different synth selection. Maybe you could link the the build up of '8:00' to '9:02' & continue the killer energy instead of breaking it up with the mono synth.

I love the second half of this tune. I believe you could improve the flow by rearranging the layout.

Great work mate.

Pete.

*edit* oh yerr, I also voted 4/5 for this one.

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Intro synths sound very clear and well processed. Its all feeling very open and clear.

2.00 - The clap is feeling rather muffled. Your adding a lot of layers here. Its still holding together fairly well though

2.55 - The rising melody arpeggio is starting to dominate. I think this needs to be made clearer with more obvious signal. Really like... this is a point in the track where the journey starts.

3.45 - It drops down again. A slight let down. I think when you drop down something else needs to take over. Perhaps a darker or more/less resolved change in the original melody. Just to continue the flow.

5.05 - Really like this part. Feels like epic goa. More filter sweeps of those big saws could work and really twist it harder.

7.17 - Going back to square one and building it up from scratch it feels. Lots of low frequency texture at this point, nice work.

8.10 - Again, another drop in intensity. You do this too much I think. You've played that card earlier on in the track. I think you need to keep going here and drive it home.

9.06 - I see what your trying to do here and I like it. Its not working yet, but it has promise. Keep at it and keep the detuned feel. I think the melody follows the theme of the leadup too much. Too sombre and and resolves too well. This could be really uplifting and contrast beautifully with the darkness of the rest of the track. You just need to find the right notes. Keep at it. It can take me weeks to find the right break in a melody.

Out of curiosity, what labels did you send this to?

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Wow, thanks a lot for the replys, you guys rule!

I noticed the clipping. Maybe I'll rework the tune but right now I feel kinda stuck with it...

@Axo:
hmm, I dont remember exactly where I sent it, but suntrip records and wirikuta were among them... I dont even know what they say about my tune, they didnt reply at all. that sucks. And there are not much labels interested in oldschool Goa anymore anyway.

Thanks again for the very inspiring comments about the structure

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Cybernetika albums (free DL): Atropos (2009) | Nanospheric (2008) | Neural Network Expansion (2007) | Promo #1 (2006) | Paralysis (2005)

homepage: http://www.cybernetika.de

personally I don't like harder tracks that use a lot of reverb since when your in a wearhouse there is a ton of verb by default, so if your track doesn't bring everything right up front, it just gets that much diluted.

second your at a disadvantage using vsts / plugs, since you have to muck about with them more to get things phat, but the track is solid

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I can't say it's particularly bad, because it's actually quite good. It doesn't get me going very well, though. It lacks the energy that a lot of your other tracks have.

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