Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the whole goddamn family was drunk as a louse, with mom in the whore house and dad in jail, I sat myself down to a cold glass of ale.
When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter, I got off my sister to see what was the matter. And what to my stoned-out eyes should appear, but a shitty old sleigh and eight fucking reindeer. With a dirty old man who was beating his dick, I knew at that moment, it must be St. Nick.
He flew across the lawn and up the house wall, he cried onward you bastards or it's off with your balls. Then down the chimney he came like a bat out of hell, I knew at that moment, the fat ****** fell.
He filled all the stockings with drugs and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother who's queer. And up again he went with a fart, that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart. And I heard him say as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all it's been a hell of a night." --Unknown author

Merry Christmas everyone!

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"Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece." -Lisa Simpson

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Currently Addicted to : Dj Tiesto Live At Tranceairwaves 15-02-04 (original mix)

quote:

Originally posted by Hami Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, the whole goddamn family was drunk as a louse, with mom in the whore house and dad in jail, I sat myself down to a cold glass of ale. When out on the lawn, I heard such a clatter, I got off my sister to see what was the matter. And what to my stoned-out eyes should appear, but a shitty old sleigh and eight fucking reindeer. With a dirty old man who was beating his dick, I knew at that moment, it must be St. Nick. He flew across the lawn and up the house wall, he cried onward you bastards or it's off with your balls. Then down the chimney he came like a bat out of hell, I knew at that moment, the fat ****** fell. He filled all the stockings with drugs and beer, and a big rubber dick for my brother who's queer. And up again he went with a fart, that son of a bitch blew my chimney apart. And I heard him say as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all it's been a hell of a night." --Unknown author Merry Christmas everyone!

Oh, this is so classy... my 3rd favourite thing to experience at this time of the year... the creative tampering of classic xmas poems and carols.... it just warms my heart....

Nice job "Unkown author"... u got a chuckle outta me...... I LOVE CHRSTIMAS!!!
Onwards and upwards.....

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