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Hequn
aka SATCH

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Manchester
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Tech Support: "Hold down the F2 key."
Customer: "Where is that?"
Tech Support: "On the left side of your keyboard, above the two -- just right of the Escape key."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "So now we are in the System Setup screen?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "All right. Hit your Ctrl-Alt-Delete keys. Then your F2 key."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Now we are in the System Setup?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Does it say, 'Loading Windows 95'?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Can you describe what is on your screen?"
Customer: "It's gray."
Tech Support: "Just gray? It does not say anything?"
Customer: "No. Just gray...with blue and white."
Tech Support: "Are there letters on your screen?"
Customer: "Yes."
Aargh.
Tech Support: "Read them to me."
Customer: "C-o-p-y-r-i--"
Tech Support: "Do they form words? Do the words form phrases? Do the phrases form sentences?"
Customer: "I suppose."
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Customer: "I'll have you know, I've never even seen a computer before yesterday."
Great. Great start to a call. He wanted to install the Internet connection software we have, so I had him insert the CD. "It ain't workin'!" was all I heard for about two minutes of trying the drive and checking to see if it was really there.
Tech Support: "Sir, could you eject your CD for a moment? We need to check if it's scratched."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Look on the bottom of the CD, and see if there are any scratches on it."
Customer: "On the bottom? Shouldn't we check the top?"
Tech Support: "Is the shiny side of the CD on the top?"
Customer: "Of course."
Tech Support: "Ok, could you flip it over so the shiny side is down and then insert it into the drive?"
Customer: "Won't it scratch if I put it in like that?"
Tech Support: "No, it won't scratch."
Customer: "Well, ok...."
He inserted the CD in the drive correctly, and then his computer froze.
Customer: "My computer froze! I told you it would scratch the CD!"
Tech Support: "I'm sure that's not the problem--"
Customer: "I can't believe you scratched the CD."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir, could you hold down 'ctrl' and 'alt', and then-- (clunking sounds) Hello? Hello, sir?"
There was no one on the line for a moment. Then he spoke up again.
Customer: "I've been holding 'ctrl' and 'alt' for the past two minutes, and nothing is happening at all on my whole damn computer, because you made me scratch the software."

___________________
Take a listen on SoundCloud
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Dec-17-2003 07:46
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