A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.
Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nodded in acknowledgment. As the match started, the American and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbed the American and wrapped him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands -- he knew all was lost. He couldn't even watch the ending. Suddenly, there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to watch the Russian flying up in the air.

The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded. When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."

"So," the trainer exclaimed, "that finished him off, did it?"

"No, but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own testicles!"

___________________
You've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable... known someone that could level you with her eyes... feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you.

Skylar: Men are shameless. If your not thinking with your weiner, you're acting directly on it's behalf.
Will: You bet and on behalf of my weiner, can I get like an advanced payment?
Skylar: No.


GOOD WILL HUNTING ownz u!