good luck

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Originally posted by butterfly i have to make a decision soon whether i will pursue a permanent job in california or head back to NJ. I do like it here and my bf definitely wants to stay here but I am very close with my family and they are all back east. through my rotations i have discovered that i dont really feel as competent at the work i would be doing in new jersey but i have really enjoyed my projects here in CA. i am fairly certain i could get work here doing things similar to what i do now. in addtition to that, i think there are some new opportunities in california in a good locations. so my issue is, i am afraid to make a concrete decision. this one isnt as temporary as the last one and it is scary. have you ever made a big life change like that? how do you deal with it and how do you know what is right for you to do? i need help...

Well, you make one point about why you want to go back to NJ and come up with several points justifying you staying in California ranging from you like your job better and your social life is better. I think you've pretty much made your decision already.

i left uni and lived with my (now ex) boyfriend in Birmingham, helping him set up his own lawn mowing business. This career choice had nothing to do with what i had studied at uni and my boyfriend was slowly degenerating into a selfish twat (or mebbe i was just coming to the realisation that he had been a selfish twat all the time) after 6months of being there i left. i had already left all my friends from uni and my family years before that. I was then leaving yet another group of friends to go to London, which i did. I seriously had about 2friends and none of them any where near london. I lived with my nan when i moved as well. I took over a year for me to move out and get some sort of social life, which from there i am honestly happier than every. It probably was one of the hardest things i have ever done, but i would not do it any other way if i had the choices now.

I am also looking in the futuer (probably about 2 yrs) for another complete career and most likely geographical change to set up my own business. And to be honest if it werent for finances i would be doing it now.

You need to honestly ask yourself what you think you will gain the most out of. Personally i would not pass up an oportunity of new avenues. And think there is no real reason why if you went back east you couldn't go west again, or if you stayed in ca go back in a few years.

May be certain factors will change over time but none to stop you doing anything really.


I am of the opinion (or rather i get the feeling) you are just a little scared. Make the decision to stay..... does it worry you, or fill you with that nervous excitement? make the desision to go back home.... do you feeel like you are going to miss out, or are you a little relieved?

you'll know what to do dont worry

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Originally posted by Misty Kitty i left uni and lived with my (now ex) boyfriend in Birmingham, helping him set up his own lawn mowing business. This career choice had nothing to do with what i had studied at uni and my boyfriend was slowly degenerating into a selfish twat (or mebbe i was just coming to the realisation that he had been a selfish twat all the time) after 6months of being there i left. i had already left all my friends from uni and my family years before that. I was then leaving yet another group of friends to go to London, which i did. I seriously had about 2friends and none of them any where near london. I lived with my nan when i moved as well. I took over a year for me to move out and get some sort of social life, which from there i am honestly happier than every. It probably was one of the hardest things i have ever done, but i would not do it any other way if i had the choices now. I am also looking in the futuer (probably about 2 yrs) for another complete career and most likely geographical change to set up my own business. And to be honest if it werent for finances i would be doing it now. You need to honestly ask yourself what you think you will gain the most out of. Personally i would not pass up an oportunity of new avenues. And think there is no real reason why if you went back east you couldn't go west again, or if you stayed in ca go back in a few years. May be certain factors will change over time but none to stop you doing anything really. I am of the opinion (or rather i get the feeling) you are just a little scared. Make the decision to stay..... does it worry you, or fill you with that nervous excitement? make the desision to go back home.... do you feeel like you are going to miss out, or are you a little relieved? you'll know what to do dont worry

thanks for the story - very positive.

basically it is just that i am scared. i dont like being away from my family but i do feel that if i go back east i will be missing out. i think i need to stay here, there are just so many unknowns.

tuff decision, but if you making more bling in cali just use $ to fly back home more often or invite the family out, or get a good phone plan. that way u can have the best of both worlds. besides u dont want to live next door to the folk or they'll drive u

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GIGANTIC CUNT

*hurt u didn't consult with ur mentor uglydave*



anyways, amm, yeah, very tough decision indeed mel..
and i really dont have the answer, but i guess wherever makes u happiest, i know ur a sucker for ur mum, but u still have phonecalls and holidays..

personally, if i'm comin to visit to wanna go to CA rather than NJ.. NJ sounds crap..

how permanent would the job in CA be? like, if ur unhappy there u can always leave after a while, i'm sure the ontract doesn't bind u there forever!

either way, take time with ur decision!

David

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Originally posted by UglyDave *hurt u didn't consult with ur mentor uglydave* anyways, amm, yeah, very tough decision indeed mel.. and i really dont have the answer, but i guess wherever makes u happiest, i know ur a sucker for ur mum, but u still have phonecalls and holidays.. personally, if i'm comin to visit to wanna go to CA rather than NJ.. NJ sounds crap.. how permanent would the job in CA be? like, if ur unhappy there u can always leave after a while, i'm sure the ontract doesn't bind u there forever! either way, take time with ur decision! David

lol... if you come visit me in NJ we'll go hang out in new york. but you are right, it isnt necessarily permanent. i think i will try it.

stay in cali.


I only say that because I was stuck in a state we call michigan for 22 years. Yeah I did go to college, but it was only 3 hours away. So I was back every other weekend to get laundry and food hehe.

Well in aug I moved out to las vegas for grad school. I knew absolutely nobody out here at all. but I am having a ton o fun. its good to go back and visit, but i am doing what I want.

but it is again, up to you. I would definitely try it out in cali for a while, you might see it fits you better than in NJ.

the best advice I can give you is:

You are young, be opportunistic.

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fuck fmaily theyre only there when u need dinner...

well you seem to have already made up your mind.

ask yourself this-

would you have more regret doing something or more regret doing something that you NEVER did?

go for it, you are young, not married, no kids this might be the only time in your life to do something like this. go for it, you only live once.

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Kraftwerk. Die Mensch Maschine.
John Donne "Valediction: Forbidding Mourning". Thy firmness makes my circle just, and makes me end where I begun.