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Just to clarify the difference between phase and phrase, to be in-phase means to beatmatch. To be in-phrase means that beat 1 of track one is matched with beat 1 on track two. It is where you define the begining of a phrase that matters. Normally trance tracks have phrases that are 64 beats long. It will be 64 beats for the warmup (or about 27 and 54 seconds at 140 bpm). You should notice that at 27 seconds, the track will add a few more instruments compared to just a normal bass beat (some add many, but most wait till 54 seconds). So from there you know certain times at a particular BPM (this is one of the major advantages of cd decks! You can calculate when things are supposed to happen and remember those times to help you phrase match EVERY time!)
If you are having a problem counting the beats in your head, then all you need is to listen to music more. Once you start listening and djing every day then you will naturally pick up on when the new phrase begins. You will also pick up on the point at which you should press play or release your vinyl. This is of course not the same point at which you would mix in, the goal here is to release the record about two full phrases (depending on the tracks) before you plan on mixing in so that you can bring the cue track in on the second phrase right as the third to last phrase (about 1:22 mins before the track ends), or the second to last phrase (about 54 secs before the track ends) depending on how much energy you want to transfer. This of course depends on the two tracks. If you live track is really full of energy and your cue track is a bit less, then you need to wait till the second to last phrase to let the energy transition and climb down on it's own. If you have two tracks that have about the same amount of energy, then mix in at the third to last phrase so that you keep the energy going. Just make sure you know where to start the cue track in order to keep that energy up. Sometimes I run into tracks that I have to cue up 4 or more phrases so that at about 1:48 mins I start mixing in.
To sum up, the main thing to remember is to know your music to know when you need to mix out of the live track and listen to your cue track to see how far in to it you have to mix in to keep the energy level up. If you don't keep the energy level consistent through the transition, then you are basically destroying what you try to build up with your track selection.
As far as getting mixed up to when this happens with vinyl, use a watch/timer etc. Count the beats in your head and get to know your music really really well. Everyone says that only practice will make you good, and this is really true. The only way that it will become instinctual to know when a phrase is begining or ending etc is to listen to music ALL the time!
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When you dance, the DJ takes you on a journey, but he or she is usually not the focus of your experience at a club or festival or wherever you hear the music. Dancing is. Music is.
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