In reference to getting a half-decent kick, let me show you how I do it:
1) Load up Stomper Hyperion (google for it if you don't have it) and make a very simple bassdrum like this (www.actionmark.f2s.com/audio/Simple.wav)
Granted, not very impressive, right?
2) Insert this sample into your favourite sequencer/wav editor/whatever (for this example I'm using Orion Platinum but use whatever) and insert Endorphin (available free at www.digitalfishphones.com)
3) Ramp the input volume on the sampler so your kick is really loud and distorting and experiment with Endorphin and create something like this (www.actionmark.f2s.com/audio/Endorph.wav)
4) Go crackers and re-insert the original bassdrum with a high low-shelf like 1.2Khz and cut the top off the endorphined sample to 1.2Khz like this (www.actionmark.f2s.com/audio/Combined.wav) -BTW feel free to fiddle with the coarse setting to lower the pitch etc. etc. - granted it's not the best example but I've literally just done it now and it's principles we're talking about here people! If I were spending more time I'd load up a wave editor and fade out the end to remove the click etc.
5) Congratulations, you've just learnt everything it's taken me a year to stumble across! Go pat yourself on the back or something!
At this point you could do anything really - reinsert Endorphin, put on a noise gate with reverb, recompress it, have a cup of tea - the world is your oyster!

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"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!"
anon
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