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What People Around The World Learn About Americans By Watching Baywatch
1. American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running
in slow motion along the beach.
2. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour.
3. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no
one actually dies, except from cancer.
4. People in the U.S. look thoughtfully at the ocean for an
average of 15 seconds after being told anything of any
importance.
5. Americans never worry about getting enough to eat, but fat
people are unreliable and sometimes evil.
6. Most American women have abnormally large breasts that are
worshipped via close-ups for an average of two minutes and
thirteen seconds per hour.
7. When swimming in California, you are more likely to be
attacked by jewel thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than you
are to drown.
8. Most activity that takes place off the beach occurs in
montages and lasts no longer than two minutes.
9. Although Americans, especially lifeguards, complain that they
are poor, they all have expensive sports cars and luxurious
homes.
10. Motorboats, unlike cars, will not talk back to David
Hasselhoff.
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