Registered: Jun 2003
Location: In the wrong place at the wrong time
Silly Instructions
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Chldren's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of chldren.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a chld's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal chldhood belief.)
___________________
Few of my all time favorites:
Benz & MD - Oneric
Madoka - Plataforma
Solid Globe - North Pole
Quivver - Space Maneuvers Part 3
Digital Witchcraft - Brindavan (Grayarea's Purge the Inventory Mix)
Mar-12-2004 23:09
{b.s.e.}
savant garde
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: The Source
___________________
Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.
Mar-12-2004 23:12
glowinfairy
Junior tranceaddict
Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Under the bridge
about the superman instruction i could agree cuz some kids might not know it.i remember that about 3 years ago a kid died cuz he jumped off his apartment's window because he thought he was a pokemon character.
Shit's pretty lame. Wouldn't make it much in Funny/Humour Stuff forum either. Come up with something a little better in the open forum. Take a lesson from JP on what's good. Thanks.
[[[smoke]]]
Mar-13-2004 02:53
-=M=-
Feelin' Bricky?
Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Melbourne, Aus
quote:
Originally posted by smokeape
Shit's pretty lame. Wouldn't make it much in Funny/Humour Stuff forum either. Come up with something a little better in the open forum. Take a lesson from JP on what's good. Thanks.
[[[smoke]]]
werd.
Mar-13-2004 02:54
DjSimonB
Convergence
Registered: Jul 2003
Location: Glasgow
Heh, it entertained me.
___________________
Just when you thought this was over, it had only just begun...
Mar-13-2004 03:16
DJ_TRON
tranceaddict
Registered: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
quote:
Shit's pretty lame. Wouldn't make it much in Funny/Humour Stuff forum either. Come up with something a little better in the open forum. Take a lesson from JP on what's good. Thanks.
You are one very, very bitchy individual. Sugestion, pull the pipe out of your ass, thats the wrong hole.
Peace
___________________
Currently being owned by: Oceanlab - Satellite (Markus Schulz Coldharbour Remix)
Mar-13-2004 03:36
MrCowski
Senior tranceaddict
Registered: Jan 2004
Location: Los Angeles, USA
I got this as an email three years ago. So this just might be a bit old.
___________________
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned and the scum floats to the top.
Mar-13-2004 07:24
arctic
Teh Pwn
Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Australia
quote:
Originally posted by DJ_TRON
You are one very, very bitchy individual. Sugestion, pull the pipe out of your ass, thats the wrong hole.
Peace
Hey, that woman in your avatar, she really blows! What a shitty DJ.
___________________
Currently Whoring:
Space Tribe Vs Electric Universe - Rabbit Hole
CPU - So It Begins
Too Short & Mistah FAB - The Sideshow
Mar-13-2004 07:27
{b.s.e.}
savant garde
Registered: Oct 2001
Location: The Source
quote:
Originally posted by arctic
Hey, that woman in your avatar, she really blows! What a shitty DJ.
yarrrrr!
___________________
Wave is to particle as zero is to one as bagpipes are to modem noises.
Mar-13-2004 07:30
Perfect_Cheezit
Machine Beat
Registered: Jul 2003
Location: MNTA #08
quote:
Originally posted by arctic
Hey, that woman in your avatar, she really blows! What a shitty DJ.
Silly Instructions
Quality reading.
