A few good laughs...
I thought some of you could use a good laugh for the day.... I know I needed it.
A bomber pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very
attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a
moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
No," he replies, "I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch?
What's so special about it?
He explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well", explains the pilot, "it says you're not wearing any panties...."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken, because I am
wearing panties!"
The pilot taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
A man had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down,
another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"
He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to
come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find
someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
___________________
Every nite with my star friends, we eat caviar & drink champagne.
Sniffing in the VIP area, we talk about Frank Sinatra.
You know Frank Sinatra? He's dead.
To be famous is so nice, $uck my D!ck, Ki$$ my A$$.
In limousines we have sex, every nite with my famous friends.
  
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