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Be Her Rebound
Enjoy no-strings-attached sex—with someone other than yourself!
Maxim, February 2003
STEP 1: PERFORM RECON
No matter how much you want to move in on your recently dumped hot female friend, resist temptation…at first. Go too fast and you’ll ruin a special friendship—nah, just kidding, but you will lose the opportunity to get some hot friend-on-friend action. “Get invited along whenever women you know take out a girl who just got dumped,” says Marcus Meleton, author of Nice Guys Don’t Get Laid. “Then console her.” Your buddy just broke up with his gal? Assuming he gives you his boozy permission, pursue her—after all, who better to confirm his jerkiness than you? “Each time I find out my boyfriend has cheated on me with some slut,” says 24-year-old Paisley, “I hook up with one of his friends to make him mad.” (Her phone number is…but no, that would be too easy.)
STEP 2: GET IN
Nothing loosens up a recent burn victim like the soothing ointment of reassurance. So start buttering her up. “The ultimate thing to say is, ‘The only reason you’re not with him is because he is incapable of having a permanent relationship,’” Meleton explains. See, it’s his hang-up—even if he actually dumped her because she’s a psycho. Don’t try to rush your new friend into the bedroom; you need to sink the hook that you’re sensitive and sweet, i.e., the complete opposite of the dirtball who ditched her.
STEP 3: SEAL THE DEAL
By this point you should have her feeling good about herself. Remember the advice about not hurrying her into the sack? Well, bust out the jimmy hats: She’s now ready for the kind of ego stroke one can only get by bumping uglies with a new partner. Tell her that she deserves to let loose and have some fun tonight. See? You’re not taking advantage of her—you’re helping her! Be, uh, selfless for as long as you like, but if for some reason she gets the crazy idea that she wants a relationship, play your trump card: Tell her the hookup was impetuous, and you both need some time to clear your heads. If one of you should meet a nice stewardess in the meantime…
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Music is Life
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