This has always been an interesting subject to me. Like a lot of my posts, this is really just an analysis, but feel free to comment if you wish.






Have you ever known someone, thats entire life, has, and still does, revolve around outside influences? I'm talking from clothes, to music, to cars, to their job and so on. And i'm not talking the typical highschool bullshit, im talking about after college, during the start of careers, everyday living, people in their near mid 20s and up.

Now, i'm not talking about someone who tries to act like someone else (like a white dude trying to act black), but actually a normal person, who doesnt seem to have the capability to be a real individual, or a creative one. Someone who doesn't seem to have their real own personality, nothing about them is authentic to THEM. (and you know this, because youve known this person for over 15 years). Keep in mind, when the person talks, it IS them, but you can just see that outside influence. Its not like theyre brainwashed like a drunk, saying stupid crazy shit, theyre not "posers" or "wanna-be's". It IS them, you just can see the influences, and ONLY you can see the influences, because you've known the person for a long while and know how they operate.

Most people grow out of it, but I know, and have known people, not many, but some, who literally to this day, revolve around everything but themselves. From the shoes they wear, to their opinion on ANYTHING, to the music they listen to, to the jokes they say, to the career they have (meaning someone else literally decided it for them), to the things they do on the weekend. ALL are determined by outside sources. And i'm not saying they follow the latest greatest bullshit on MTV etc, im talking their source of thinking, personality and lifestyle, is determined by their surrounding people.

Now, true, the person may actually like this stuff, but you AND THEY know, as soon as their surroundings are altered, they themselves, change as well, and they ofcourse will like the new (like always). And when i say change, im not saying this person is going to go from a crack head, to a punk rocker, its nothing that dramatic or juvenile, its just a lot of little changes.

Now you're saying, "sure, your friends etc. determine what you do on weekends, and how you live a lot of your life", BUT, during all this, you have your OWN course. You know what you want to do, and if youre not happy with it, youll go somewhere else. These people arent like that.

Usually these kind of people do not have a hobby of their own. I mean if you ask them what their hobbies are, they usually say "anything".....they honestly have really never had ONE or TWO hobbies, and theyll tell you that. Same goes with music, sports, and so on. They just dont have ONE thing they like. Its always "anyting really".

You'll also notice people like this usually don't have a problem making friends, which makes complete sense, since they easily adapt to any type of person/event/and so on. People dont adapt to them, they adapt to the people. (hopefully what im saying makes sense).

I hate to say it, but at times it is almost like these people are robots, that inhale all outside information and use it to develop a human-like life form. Unfortunately, I'm being serious.

I have always had a huge respect for people who have their own thing, and do their own thing, because its in their heart and thats what they love. I mean if you love golf, and I love fishing, even though theyre two totally seperate things, its still nice to know this person has their thing. There's a respect in that.

But, there will always be this huge lack of respect that exists, no matter how much of friends you are, because you always know, this person cannot find themself. Its not comforting, and its frustrating because for once, youd like this person to actually have a real uninfluenced opinion, an IDEA of their own, and so on.

quote:

Originally posted by SportTrance This has always been an interesting subject to me. Like a lot of my posts, this is really just an analysis, but feel free to comment if you wish. Have you ever known someone, thats entire life, has, and still does, revolve around outside influences? I'm talking from clothes, to music, to cars, to their job and so on. And i'm not talking the typical highschool bullshit, im talking about after college, during the start of careers, everyday living, people in their near mid 20s and up. Now, i'm not talking about someone who tries to act like someone else (like a white dude trying to act black), but actually a normal person, who doesnt seem to have the capability to be a real individual, or a creative one. Someone who doesn't seem to have their real own personality, nothing about them is authentic to THEM. (and you know this, because youve known this person for over 15 years). Keep in mind, when the person talks, it IS them, but you can just see that outside influence. Its not like theyre brainwashed like a drunk, saying stupid crazy shit, theyre not "posers" or "wanna-be's". It IS them, you just can see the influences, and ONLY you can see the influences, because you've known the person for a long while and know how they operate. Most people grow out of it, but I know, and have known people, not many, but some, who literally to this day, revolve around everything but themselves. From the shoes they wear, to their opinion on ANYTHING, to the music they listen to, to the jokes they say, to the career they have (meaning someone else literally decided it for them), to the things they do on the weekend. ALL are determined by outside sources. And i'm not saying they follow the latest greatest bullshit on MTV etc, im talking their source of thinking, personality and lifestyle, is determined by their surrounding people. Now, true, the person may actually like this stuff, but you AND THEY know, as soon as their surroundings are altered, they themselves, change as well, and they ofcourse will like the new (like always). And when i say change, im not saying this person is going to go from a crack head, to a punk rocker, its nothing that dramatic or juvenile, its just a lot of little changes. Now you're saying, "sure, your friends etc. determine what you do on weekends, and how you live a lot of your life", BUT, during all this, you have your OWN course. You know what you want to do, and if youre not happy with it, youll go somewhere else. These people arent like that. Usually these kind of people do not have a hobby of their own. I mean if you ask them what their hobbies are, they usually say "anything".....they honestly have really never had ONE or TWO hobbies, and theyll tell you that. Same goes with music, sports, and so on. They just dont have ONE thing they like. Its always "anyting really". You'll also notice people like this usually don't have a problem making friends, which makes complete sense, since they easily adapt to any type of person/event/and so on. People dont adapt to them, they adapt to the people. (hopefully what im saying makes sense). I hate to say it, but at times it is almost like these people are robots, that inhale all outside information and use it to develop a human-like life form. Unfortunately, I'm being serious. I have always had a huge respect for people who have their own thing, and do their own thing, because its in their heart and thats what they love. I mean if you love golf, and I love fishing, even though theyre two totally seperate things, its still nice to know this person has their thing. There's a respect in that. But, there will always be this huge lack of respect that exists, no matter how much of friends you are, because you always know, this person cannot find themself. Its not comforting, and its frustrating because for once, youd like this person to actually have a real uninfluenced opinion, an IDEA of their own, and so on.

yeah i call them tools

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actually that describes me.

I am made up of experiences, of the people I meet, places I've been. all that makes up who I am. Every new thing is then filtered through my past experiences.

and I find nothing wrong with that. its just your point of view on what the self actually is. I am a strong believer that we cannot be independent of outside influence.

and I also find nothign wrong with adapting to others, you do the samething when you are around your parents and when your around your friends. And this adapting personality is not a sign of no personality, it is their personality.


thats the quick and dirty, cause Im hungry.

quote:

Originally posted by Boomer187 actually that describes me. I am made up of experiences, of the people I meet, places I've been. all that makes up who I am. Every new thing is then filtered through my past experiences. and I find nothing wrong with that. its just your point of view on what the self actually is. I am a strong believer that we cannot be independent of outside influence. and I also find nothign wrong with adapting to others, you do the samething when you are around your parents and when your around your friends. And this adapting personality is not a sign of no personality, it is their personality. thats the quick and dirty, cause Im hungry.

Eh I guess you mis-read it. Looks like you're reading it just as-it-looks.

Everyone is ofcourse made up of their past experiences, places theyve been and people theyve met. The problem here is, none of that has any relevance to the people I am describing, today. Their profile is not the same as it was 3 years ago, and the 3 years before that. You could simply say that they are still growing up, changing, and havent found any solid ground yet, which is more than likely true.

Contrary to what you'd think, the influences they experienced haven't really appeared to make any solid ground, or belief that they stand on today, other than the obvious basics. Its almost as if they are still going through the typical teenage patterns of highschool, just at a more mature, discreet approach. Still testing waters, trying to find out where there place is in life, and who they are. If they're still growing up, thats fine, but there are many people, who never grow up.

And you definitely mis-read the adapation part. I'm not talking about temporarily adapting, like when your parents come over to visit, i'm talking about adapting completely. Changing your ways, your lifestyle, all of it, because of CURRENT outside influences (not past). If you're constantly changing your views, opinions, and so on, you're not on stable ground with yourself. The others who've known you for longer than a year or two, will eventually notice it. You shouldn't have to adapt to people, you should be yourself. Adults, kids, doesn't matter, be yourself. If someone doesnt like, it, well, tough shit. Thats who you are. Ofcourse, there's the easy alternative that so many choose, which is to adapt, be liked by others, and just not be true to yourself. Some people are willing to take that route, while a lot aren't.

I understand a lot of people grow up late, and it takes some people a lot of time to find out who they really are, and I also know that some people never grow up.

Then again, it could have nothing to do with growing up. A lot of people out there literally live their whole life letting the rest of the world determine who they are, how they think, and what they do, we call them followers.

So who knows.

I think college is kind of for that purpose though. People who you find later in life with a fluid and dynamic set of morals, principles, and ideologies were ones who never really got them challenged in a hard setting. You get into sooo many discussions in higher education about everything that you HAVE to get an opinion or lose out on points. And once you write a paper on it with books of research read on that topic alone, you tend to stabilize into that. Itd take a well educated person to challenge that. and in the end youll probably just respect the other person for not having an arbitrary opinion.

Go to college kids!

Most people today are influence and/or their lifes evolve around the world around them, and the people in it. If there wasn't a main trend(s), people might not be as better off. Everyone is capable of starting somethin gof their own, but there's always someone better than you. And it sucks. Other than that here's the story:

My friend Jade, loves childhood sweethearts. I love her dearly, but GOD everything is about it. Her "wedding cake" the people on it are chsh!!! It cost like 400 bucks just for that. She's inlove with her boyfriend but dear God. She loves anything with gay guys. I don't mind gay guys, but she takes it so far to announce it in public. Yes, might sound like a problem here, but she's "influenced." Her life evolves around jeff and anything he might do or say. Valentines day, oh lordy, she waited till after his baseball game. Wouldn't even go out with me anywhere. All she did was keep me on 3 way, jeff this, jeff that. yea...anyway. She's very optimistic, and is very knowledgeable, and adaptable. All that makes her a very cool person. Our lifestyles make us unique; as everyone else's does theirs. Hope that makes any logical sense.

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Explaining back sticking: "grip the shaft lightly, and tap the butt."

quote:

Originally posted by SportTrance Eh I guess you mis-read it. Looks like you're reading it just as-it-looks. Everyone is ofcourse made up of their past experiences, places theyve been and people theyve met. The problem here is, none of that has any relevance to the people I am describing, today. Their profile is not the same as it was 3 years ago, and the 3 years before that. You could simply say that they are still growing up, changing, and havent found any solid ground yet, which is more than likely true. Contrary to what you'd think, the influences they experienced haven't really appeared to make any solid ground, or belief that they stand on today, other than the obvious basics. Its almost as if they are still going through the typical teenage patterns of highschool, just at a more mature, discreet approach. Still testing waters, trying to find out where there place is in life, and who they are. If they're still growing up, thats fine, but there are many people, who never grow up. And you definitely mis-read the adapation part. I'm not talking about temporarily adapting, like when your parents come over to visit, i'm talking about adapting completely. Changing your ways, your lifestyle, all of it, because of CURRENT outside influences (not past). If you're constantly changing your views, opinions, and so on, you're not on stable ground with yourself. The others who've known you for longer than a year or two, will eventually notice it. You shouldn't have to adapt to people, you should be yourself. Adults, kids, doesn't matter, be yourself. If someone doesnt like, it, well, tough shit. Thats who you are. Ofcourse, there's the easy alternative that so many choose, which is to adapt, be liked by others, and just not be true to yourself. Some people are willing to take that route, while a lot aren't. I understand a lot of people grow up late, and it takes some people a lot of time to find out who they really are, and I also know that some people never grow up. Then again, it could have nothing to do with growing up. A lot of people out there literally live their whole life letting the rest of the world determine who they are, how they think, and what they do, we call them followers. So who knows.

eh no I didn't misread it at all. I think I just quickly tried to type something else which now that I read it, I dunno where I was coming from.


I really find nothig wrong with this at all. It is just another perspective on life. They change, you stay stable.

Call it growing up, or not maturing, it is their way of life. Its not harming anyone so I think it is fine.

that describes myself in college.

I go to a cal state fullerton and it's way inland compared to where i'm from. Everyone dresses to copy my hometown's style, but they do it wrong. It's like they have their own idea of how 'hb kids' dress but they got it all wrong.

Personally I love my influences, I think I dress the best out of everyone I know, but my musical taste is way influenced from my surroundings. Everyone in my hometown listens to old school rock, led zepplin, beatles, bob marley, etc. No punk/hardcore, no new stuff at all. Indie music is insanely popular, but that draws the line between modern music border. We also have a thing for real rap, Jurassic 5, Tribe called Quest, Gangstarr, etc. But everyone else I know that's not from HB is into mainstream music, rock/rap. I personally don't mind some of it, I like thrice, afi, finch. But i still live my roots better.

The best thing about my hometown, is that it's where I learned to love trance. When I was a freshman, all the upperclassmen in my school we're into raving. They got alot of kids involved into doing ecstasy, and we went to raves and that's how I learned about trance. Gotta love home.

quote:

Originally posted by Boomer187 eh no I didn't misread it at all. I think I just quickly tried to type something else which now that I read it, I dunno where I was coming from. I really find nothig wrong with this at all. It is just another perspective on life. They change, you stay stable. Call it growing up, or not maturing, it is their way of life. Its not harming anyone so I think it is fine.

no theres nothing wrong with it, doesnt make the person a bad person. I just personally enjoy being around people that have their own opinions, ideas, thoughts, hobbies. You know, signs that they have a brain/conscience. The ideas can be like everyone elses, or can be completely seperate, i dont care! just as long as you actually stand behind it and its your authentic opinion/idea/hobby that you plan to stick to.

When I say "i wish they had their own ideas, opinions, thoughts, hobbies". I'm not saying that I wish their ideas, etc. were different from everyone elses. Thats dumb, thats not what im saying at all. I'm saying I wish their ideas, hobbies, opinions, etc, could be claimed as their own, authentic idea/opinion/hobby.

I just see people phasing in and out of music, hobbies, sports, and so on. 90% of people I know find something they love and stick to it, for the rest of their life. Its not just a phase, its real, authentic and they dont let it go.

Its almost like some people let the rest of the world think FOR them.

Example: that guy wont get upset about something, unless you tell him how much he got screwed over (even though he already knows)

Just seems like so many people need a fire lit up their ass by someone else in order to move or think in life. Until then, they sit there like a dunce. How many times in your life have you seen somebody take somebody else's bullshit, and it didnt stop until you got them off their ass and told them to do something about it. I mean its little things. They never play the leadership role. From the beer they drink, to the restaurant they go to, to the club they go to, to the movies they see, to the job they do, someone else is always deciding it.

But like you said, everyone lives their life different, some take the lead, some let others lead. As long as everyone is happy, its whats important.

Last edited by SportTrance on Apr-13-2004 at 02:26

some people are followers. some people are leaders.

leading is much more fun,
Mike

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