One morning after she woke up from sleeping all night, a woman told her husband ...

... "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary today. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he replied.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."



What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION:

They're tiny women in little fur coats.



Why Airplanes Are Easier to Live with than Women:

* Airplanes usually kill you quickly whereas a woman takes her time.
* Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
* Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.
* Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.
* Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
* Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
* Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
* Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
* Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
* Airplanes expect to be tied down.
* Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
* Airplanes aren't pregnant when they're late.
* Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

However, just like women, airplanes are expensive to operate and it usually means trouble if they suddenly go quiet.

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No it wasn't...

quote:

Originally posted by Kamikaze Badger One morning after she woke up from sleeping all night, a woman told her husband ... ... "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary today. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he replied. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams." What is a Cat? 1. Cats do what they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. When you want to play, they want to be alone. 5. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 6. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 7. They're moody. 8. They leave hair everywhere. CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats. Why Airplanes Are Easier to Live with than Women: * Airplanes usually kill you quickly whereas a woman takes her time. * Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch. * Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection. * Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation. * Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations. * Airplanes don't come with in-laws. * Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time. * Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes. * Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines. * Airplanes expect to be tied down. * Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills. * Airplanes aren't pregnant when they're late. * Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong. However, just like women, airplanes are expensive to operate and it usually means trouble if they suddenly go quiet.

100% true

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Electronic Dance Music Mixes:
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Did you make that joke up yourself? It's horrible.

Where does the pearl necklace come in to play? It doesn't.


Now I'm pissed. Bad jokes suck.

Yeah that first one sucked...

I think it should have been something like,

There was a necklace in the box and the only reasone he got that is cause she reminded him it was their anniversary.

Or thats how i thought it was gonna turn out.

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too many words. You failed.

http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/arc...20husband%20...

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No it wasn't...

quote:

Originally posted by gwrmarines Yeah that first one sucked... I think it should have been something like, There was a necklace in the box and the only reasone he got that is cause she reminded him it was their anniversary. Or thats how i thought it was gonna turn out.

Or it should've gone something like

Delighted, she opened it only to find an empty box.

Upon her asking, "Where is the necklace?", he promply shot a load on her and said "Right there!"

quote:

Originally posted by UWM Did you make that joke up yourself? It's horrible. Where does the pearl necklace come in to play? It doesn't. Now I'm pissed. Bad jokes suck.

now you're just going out of your way to hassle him.

you people need to relax just a bit.

Wouldn't it be great if spontaneously 3 of the forums most annoying members went down in one fell swoop in the same thread?

Tempting ... but no.

quote:

Originally posted by UWM Or it should've gone something like Delighted, she opened it only to find an empty box. Upon her asking, "Where is the necklace?", he promply shot a load on her and said "Right there!"

nice

hahaha someone thats more of a noob than me

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quote:

Originally posted by UWM Or it should've gone something like Delighted, she opened it only to find an empty box. Upon her asking, "Where is the necklace?", he promply shot a load on her and said "Right there!"

Now that is funny!!!