23 Things Women Wish Men Would Figure Out



1. Saying "I love you" before, during or after sex doesn't count.

2. When we ask you how we look, "fine" is not an appropriate answer.

3. We fantasize. But it's usually about you.

4. We love it when you email us at work.

5. No matter how cool we seem about it, if you did something bad, we're really pissed off.

6. Don't patronize us by asking if our bad mood is because of PMS.

7. We will leave you if you lie to us.

8. We're unimpressed by men who don't take the lead. Be a man, dammit!

9. We love when you hold our hands.

10. We need to hear how you feel about us. Tell us right now. And again in ten minutes. (That doesn't mean we're insecure about ourselves)

11. We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you -- and for you to know it.

12. If we don't feel loved, we'll start looking elsewhere.

13. Don't talk about your ex. Ever.

14. We like porn, too.

15. We remember everything about our relationships. Yes, everything.

16. We let you fix things.

17. We've faked it.

18. Groping and foreplay are not the same thing.

19. While we're on the subject: more foreplay!

20. If we're not having sex it's because: we feel fat; we don't feel very close to you, or we are punishing you for not doing something our way.

22. We're afraid to meet your mother.

23. We think you should have already known all this stuff.

and you wonder why men cheat on you.

quote:

Originally posted by Rodrico and you wonder why men cheat on you.

LMFAO!! Ya, that's totally true. Some girls are really annoying!

^^^^^^^^^^

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Und ich tanz einfach weiter...

quote:

Most Recently posted by DMP Most girls are really annoying!

Actually, I had heard this one time and laughed my ass off, and ever since I have been telling this to women all over, seemingly women tend to agree with me.

The reason why men break up with woman.

I once had a conversation with a friend of mine, who had been recently broken up with her boyfriend. She asked me why men cheat on their girlfriends. Ofcourse she had laid a bunch of suggestions and ideas as to why he had been the unfaithful pig he was. She assaulted me with a complexity of various answers ranging from big breast to fat toes, or too short to wrong color hair. This is when I shook my head and looked straight into her eyes and told her the truth about men. "You see honey, its not about how big or small, short or tall. Its not about your breast size, or your legs, theyre all perfectly fine. Its not about you either, you see men see things one way, and its in this one way, that you will realize this is how men see everything. Its either OLD or NEW, and you were the old, and she was the new."

quote:

Originally posted by Miss Julia Ever Wonder Why Some of You Men are Single?

I thought it was because of my glass eye, bad hygeine and the hump on my back...

quote:

Originally said by The Sidler on Seinfeld Is it my dead tooth?

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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous................. Slept with everyone
Athletic...................................... No tits
Average looking.................... Ugly
Beautiful........................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.................. Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure...................... On medication
Feminist.......................................... Fat
Free spirit.................................... Junkie
Friendship first.......................... Former slut
Fun.......................................... Annoying
New-Age.............. Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned............................. No BJs
Open-minded................................. Desperate
Outgoing........................ Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................... Sloppy drunk
Professional.................................... Bitch
Voluptuous................................... Very Fat
Large frame................................. Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate............................... Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

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^^ LMAO !!!

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SHUT UP AND DANCE !!